The kids speak up | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

“My parents aren’t on Facebook and it’s better that way. I’m free.” —Michelle, 16

“My dad tried Facebook but quit after a couple of months because he didn’t get it. My mom is on Facebook. She’s too into Facebook and I’ve had to block her because she tags me on every single photo she posts even if I’m not in it and she comments on all my posts. It’s too much.” —Kate, 23

“My parents are on Facebook and it was funny at first. I’m friends with them and if they weren’t on Facebook, I’d want them to join.” —Robin Uy, 27

“Both my parents are on Facebook and it’s okay, I guess. They’re always putting random things on my wall. My mom posts ‘I miss you’ and my dad always puts random pictures of me as a kid.” —Janna, 15

“My mom is a single parent and we became closer because of Facebook. She’s working in Palawan and I work in Manila. Facebook is one of our ways to connect with one another. Since she always updates, I can see in her photos how beautiful Palawan is. We also add each other’s friends. And since Facebook began, she’s been able to track me wherever I go!”—Cheska Peralta, 22

“My father is on Facebook but he rarely checks it. I don’t mind. I’m a master of controlling my privacy. Actually, I’m starting to think Mark Zuckerberg invented the privacy settings not as a guard against creepy men like the ones seen in but as protection against our parents’ natural stalking skills. Or at least that’s how many daughters and sons use it. Even siblings. (My sister doesn’t want to add me on Facebook.) Our parents’ reminder used to be just ‘Don’t talk to strangers.’ Now it’s ‘Don’t trust people you meet via Facebook. We don’t want you to be like the girls seen on Imbestigador for being raped or blackmailed by their Facebook friend.’” —Jenn Besonia, 20

“Facebook is a great way for them to get updates from family and friends abroad but it was awkward when my parents joined Facebook so I started using Twitter more for posting about personal matters.” —Goddess

“It becomes embarrassing when your mother doesn’t realize you don’t have to show everyone every single thing that’s happening to you, that there are some things that still need to be kept private. Also, I once caught my father looking for nude photos of celebrities on Facebook.” —Paolo, 26

“Both my parents are on Facebook. I’’m friends with my dad but not with my mom. My mom and I are cool, she knows why we can’t be friends on Facebook. Just trying to avoid complications—messed up family tree. Hahaha! My mom has all the time in the world. It’s better that she’s busy and happy playing Farmville than grumpy all day because she has nothing to do. My dad is in the US and because of Facebook, we get to talk a lot. We used to e-mail only once or twice a month. Now, we talk almost every day.” —Gel, 27

“My dad is on Facebook. It felt weird at first because I had to approve him as a friend. Not approving his friend request was not an option. And I never realized how much personal information I have in my Facebook page. My dad is not really the most expressive person when it comes to our father-daughter relationship. So him uploading an album of pictures of my sister and I and putting a caption on ‘how quickly his angels have grown up’ is something.  I would want my mom to join too, since she’s the only one who can’t relate when our family talks about Facebook-related stuff and it will probably help her understand why my dad is so hooked on Facebook. Plus, it would save me the time spent on relaying messages to my mother from other relatives who are on Facebook and vice versa.” —Steph, 25

“My parents aren’t on Facebook. And no, I don’t want them to join. I don’t see the point. They are more preoccupied with their life outside the cyber world anyway. Also, their joining will take away my freedom of expressing anything that I want.” —Rick, 18

“My mom’s on Facebook, she required me to be friends with her. It’s cool but I have to limit my posts because she reads all of them.” —Chinx, 27

“I’m glad my parents don’t use Facebook because I think it would be awkward being friends with them. I think it would help them reconnect with people they have forgotten about, but I wouldn’t be friends with them.” —Caity Falcon, 18

“My parents are on Facebook and they’re like a barkada to me so no big deal. They know and are chums with most of my friends, too. They usually let me be—pre- and post-Facebook. They’re just trying to connect with me and my friends and I don’t mind it at all.” —Ikay, 27

“My mother is on Facebook, my father doesn’t use the Internet. It’s fun and weird and kinda scary too at times. The only thing that Facebook has changed is that my mother can now publicly berate me. Yes, my mother now constantly communicates with me and I have to keep up with all her comments and posts to make sure she does not divulge childhood secrets that would embarrass me. I’m also friends with my grandmother on Facebook.” —Cindy Barilea

“My mom is on Facebook, I was the one who asked her to create an account. My mom and I are close. I’m pretty much open to her about my feelings and the things that happen in my life. I don’t see that being friends in a social-networking site would interfere with the kind of relationship that we have now.  I don’t take Facebook very seriously. For me it’s more of an elaborate e-mail service than anything. I admit though that there are still times that I’d feel conscious about my status messages, wall posts, relationship status and other updates which are visible; so even though I know that I can tell her anything and she’ll never judge me, I sometimes still choose to use the hide button.” —Ayesa Lubag, 23

“My parents aren’t on Facebook and I’m relieved. I have a feeling they’re trying to avoid awkward moments with me on Facebook as well, so they afford me my own personal space online. We’re peacefully coexisting in these terms and I’d like to keep it that way. My parents have become more wary about the kind of information I share about myself. They’re old-fashioned in that aspect, they fiercely value their privacy and are baffled by this strange phenomenon my generation is going through right now with social networking, online personal journals and oversharing. They just don’t get why we do it, why we even bother with it in the first place but at the same time they do enjoy it. They really like talking about things that go on in Facebook and how people present themselves in a public forum, it’s a strange fascination for them. I think they see themselves as spectators in the sense that they enjoy it for all its worth, but they’re very reluctant about participating in it. Sometimes, they fuss over the most trivial of things because a friend of a friend in my friends’ list told them I posted an ‘emo’ status or I said I was sick. This creates inevitable friction. I have to be careful and be selective about the kind of information I post online, the people I share it to and how I share it. This kind of enthusiastic sharing worries them because they don’t just worry about the danger of predators out there who might use our information to take advantage of us, but now they also worry about the network of people who get to observe our private lives and comment on it. There’s even more pressure to ‘behave well’ in society now that it has gone virtual.” —Issey Manalastas, 24

“My parents are not on Facebook, thank God, so I feel comfortable posting photos and updates. If they join Facebook, I will start using stricter privacy settings on my updates if I have to.” —Ellis, 23

“My parents are on Facebook and I’m glad they’ve chosen to keep up with technology. I’m friends with them on Facebook, they react to my status updates and even give me advice online now. I think Facebook reestablished the parent-child interaction. Somehow, I think they know me better now, through all the status updates, photos and comments.” —Jenna, 25

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