Tuesday, October 23, 2018
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Happiness, like depression, is a state of being

Nothing outside of you will change that state. It starts with an inner journey of self-love
/ 05:02 AM July 17, 2018

There is another way, but you need to choose it.

When high-profile suicides hit the news, there is an outpouring of reactions. The increase in number of suicides, especially among young adults, requires an explanation as to how we can prevent the further escalation of choosing death as an option when overwhelmed by sadness.


I will refrain from using the word “depression” because many have  labeled it a disease, and I am not here to argue for or against that. I would like to focus instead on states of being, and remove labels of disease or wellness.

There is no diagnosis for  a state of being. Your specific state of being is created by you, whether you are aware of it or not. Your state of being, whether sad, elated, neutral, angry or joyful, is called your vibrational frequency.


To receive a diagnosis of diabetes, you need to measure blood sugar levels. There are no such measures for your state of being; there is no test, there are no numbers, and it is based on you and how you feel.

What may be just an irritating discomfort to you may be a source of extreme anger for another. One person can feel gratitude that brings them to tears, whereas the next person can feel gratitude but process it in a completely different way.

Your state of being is yours alone, and, there is no right or wrong way to feel. How you feel is highly subjective. We cannot measure levels of despair, because people process differently. We cannot compare one person’s state of being with another.


When you are in despair, it can feel debilitating. This is why it can be very frustrating to help someone who is running the pattern of helplessness and extreme sadness. But this is only because they know no other way.

Our brains, by design, by nature, will always choose joy over pain. But for some, pain and anguish is what they know. And the severity of the pain varies, based on how an  individual processes it.

When we offer new resources and tools toward another state of being which feels better and more joyful, people will choose happiness over sadness anytime.


In teaching the person new  tools, we give them the choice now to redirect their state of being. This is the most basic way to explain psychoneurology. By integrating ancient spiritual practice with the newest breakthroughs in unconscious understanding, we are able to direct our state of being into thriving in body, mind and spirit.

Your vibrational frequency is generated in your mind. It is a by-product of your unconscious state, manifested in your feelings. Your unconscious state is programmed by your beliefs.  What you believe shapes your life.

Our conscious mind— thoughts, logic—is actually directed by the unconscious mind. When you react to something, you do not think, right? You just react, based on your state of being.

Those who are frustrated and resentful react with anger and hostility. Those who are happy and at peace will respond with understanding and compassion.


This is true across the board, yet we are so caught up in the labels of good and bad that we fail to see what is really going on inside. Change your beliefs and your inner world, and your state of being changes. This is where therapy comes in.

Go into therapy to change your beliefs, not to relive your past. When you change your beliefs, you create new pathways of thinking, toward the direction in which you want to take your life.

Your state of being will not change because you took a pill or you married the perfect spouse or got that dream job. Nothing outside of you will change your state of being. It starts with an inner journey of self-love.

Your words create your thoughts, your thoughts create your beliefs, your beliefs create your state of being, your state of being creates the quality of your life.

This is major inner discovery. Do not equate it with hard work, because it is actually the most beautiful experience you will ever have. We are constantly trying to make ourselves better, when in fact all we really need to do is to like who we are.

Stop giving your power away. There is no source of happiness other than yourself. And when you come into full acceptance of yourself, you will be happy.

Self-love is not selfish; it is, in fact, the only way to thrive in body, mind and spirit.

Turn your focus inward, not to fix yourself, but to love what you see. Self-nurturing and self-acceptance will lead you toward thriving and joy, but more importantly, it will lead you toward empowerment.

Pay attention to your self-chatter. What are you saying about yourself and the world around you? That is what is forming your thought process and your beliefs.

If that voice in your head says, “I am not good enough,”  say, “I am more than enough.”  Do this over and over until the brain gets that this is the new thought pattern.

Persistence is key, as this will not happen overnight.

Remember that your thoughts are imprints from everything in your world. To change this, you need to be precise and persistent; use the words “I AM” and phrase it in the positive. Do not say “I AM not sad,” say “I AM happy now.”

Power of words

Stop using the words “I am suffering,” “I am battling depression,” “I am bipolar.” You cannot even imagine the power those words have on your unconscious mind.

That’s just how it works. Understanding that will help you empower yourself and make you responsible for your own state of being. I AM brings your consciousness to the now, and lets you focus on the now.

There are choices for getting help. I offer one choice,  psychoneurology. Get help that empowers you into being your own source of happiness. It isn’t easy at first, but get over the “It isn’t easy” phase.  Let me tell you, it is so much harder to feel bad!

When we say happiness is a choice, you make that choice despite how difficult it is to make that phone call or even get out of bed. Just know that it is resistance until it is transcended, and there are people out there who can help you transcend, but in the end, it is your choice to make.

In psychoneurology, you need to direct your state of being. As your therapist, I cannot do that for you.

There are many ways to get help. Choose what is right for you, but take responsibility for those choices. I offer an alternative to what is out there, but with what I have written here, you can already change your state of being.

Create a daily spiritual practice for yourself that includes prayer, meditation, stillness and time alone with yourself.   Movement is key, and I recommend spiritual movement classes like yoga, tai chi, qi gong, and yes, dancing is the fastest way to increase your vibration.

Learn something new, take an art, writing or jewelry-making class, anything that will give you something new and exciting to look forward to that ignites your passion and creativity.

Take up a new hobby or do volunteer work for a new sense of purpose. Go to a personal growth class, attend a spiritual retreat—all of these work because they make you feel better about yourself.

Do one thing a day for yourself, do more things that make you feel good, and do one random act of kindness for a stranger. Take it one day at a time, practice gratitude and be present in the moment. These alone will transform your state of being immediately.

Visit www.liabernardo.com.

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