On June 21 we remember one of the strongest and most influential persons in our lives—our fathers. Before we knew the world and its rules, many of us first learned our father’s words, actions and standards.

I am sharing some life reminders I learned from my late father, Abebakrin Lukman, which hopefully can add substance in your life.

Growing up in Zamboanga City, I knew that my father, a pure Tausug, could be strict and calm at the same time. Maybe it was due to his experience as former freedom fighter for Muslim Filipinos striving for self-determination, mixed with his reserved and quiet nature.

For as long as we could remember, my younger brother and I saw our father perform the five daily prayers required in Islam. He also led the prayers so that we could emulate the proper way of doing them. He emphasized that our faith should be our top priority.

My father studied journalism and once held positions related to communication. From 2002 to 2005, he was executive director of the Bureau of Public Information of the defunct Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (now Bangsamoro Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao).

In my teenage years, he was keen on teaching me basic journalism after seeing my interest in reading and writing. It was like he was passing on his skills to me. He bought me books about the rules of writing and “Nancy Drew” mystery novels so I could improve my analytical and writing skills.

It is important to have a father who exerts efforts to reinforce the interests of his child. The impact of a father’s support also determines the capability of his child to reach his or her greatest potential.

Some of his lessons:

Don’t miss breakfast

One of his unforgettable reminders was that missing breakfast was not good for my health.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. When you take your breakfast, you won’t easily get hungry for the rest of the day,” he told me.

It was true. Having a full tummy early in the morning always made me feel ready for anything that may crop up during the day.

Five hours before a flight plan ahead, but be flexible

My father had this habit of packing his bags one to two weeks before a scheduled trip. He also went to the airport four to five hours before his flight. He always allotted extra time.

Being prepared made him feel comfortable. When a planned weeklong, work-related trip was suddenly reduced to a three-day schedule, he did not find it difficult to adjust to the situation by removing things he would bring with him.

“We should always be one step ahead of any situation, but we also have to be flexible for changes,” he said.

Attend to visitors appropriately

My father taught me and my brother how to be hospitable and respectful of visitors.

He told us that when somebody knocked on the gate (if it was someone we knew or were expecting), we should always make them feel welcome.

Also, if a visitor was in the living room and we were busy doing something else, my father told us to make time to meet the visitor even for just a moment, even if my brother or I was not the main purpose of the visit.

Keep everything clean

My 80-year-old father died of a heart attack on Jan. 11 in Cotabato City. He was buried in Zamboanga City.

His last lesson for me was to keep my surroundings clean, no matter what. As a girl, I felt guilty showing him that I did not think about that simple but very important task, when I was not able to wipe the dust off our pickup truck’s windows.

“Whether you’re going to use something immediately or not, you should always keep it clean,” he said with conviction.

Those words seemed predictive of the preventive measures that everyone in the world should follow now to fight the new coronavirus. To me, his words seemed to mark the beginning of the fate of humanity this year, perhaps this decade.

Losing my father was the greatest pain I have felt. But I knew everything happened for a reason.

If you still have the chance, show your love and respect for your father. I truly learned that despite his imperfections, my father could love perfectly. His love transcends his lifetime. —CONTRIBUTED