Our mothers are the light of our homes, and they help support our fathers in parenting. But what happens when our mother is suddenly expected to play the role of both mom and dad? How is happiness defined when our father unexpectedly disappears? And what becomes of the mother and child relationship?
“Happiness is having a mom who gives all the love and care that any daughter would need,” says Alyana Yaokana, an interior design student. Although she lost her father when she was young, she is proud to have been raised by her single mom. “I don’t think I can ask for anything more,” she says.
Her mother, Veronica, shares a mutual definition of happiness; having been blessed with a “God-fearing daughter, who makes me feel loved and appreciated.” Both mom and daughter are content with their lives; having a “complete” family would not make much of a difference. Their relationship might have its ups and downs, but through patience, perseverance and commitment, they have overcome difficult times.
It might not have been a walk in the park for Gideon Isidro, a graduate of De La Salle University. His parents separated when he was nine. “Lonely, rugged and rough,” is how he described life in the absence of his father.
His mother, Claire, had to work hard, juggling two full-time jobs and several part-time work, just to make ends meet. Gideon experienced transferring homes throughout those years, making it difficult for him to establish friendships. All these challenges eventually placed a strain on their relationship. Claire recalls those moments as “the dark years.”
Real source of happiness
No matter how contrasting their lives may be, both families agree that true happiness is found by putting God at the center of their lives.
“God has played a vital role in helping me overcome the struggles and setbacks in my life,” shares Alyana’s mom Veronica. While it was nearly impossible for Claire to do things on her own, “God gave me a very supportive community of family and friends who helped me raise Gideon,” she says.
When asked what they think of their single mothers, both Alyana and Gideon are thankful and feel blessed having them.
Alyana considers her mother a gift from God and a good “role model and hero.” And although Gideon blamed his parents for every bad thing that was happening, when he started to know God, his view on life changed and he has learned to love his parents more.
“That’s when I started to see the sacrifices of my mom more clearly,” he says. “I love my mother and I’m thankful for her, more than ever.”
“Mama, I love you. Mama, I care. Mama, I love you, mama, my friend…” This is an excerpt taken from a famous song in the late ’90s, popularized by the British pop group Spice Girls. It’s a song about a teenager who misunderstood her mother’s intentions and later on regretted it in life.
Growing up, most of us can relate to this song. Despite the disagreements, we know deep inside our mothers only want what’s good for us. Their love is too great for words.
On their special day, let us try to somehow repay that infinite love by appreciating them for all the sacrifices they have made, especially single mothers who are heroes in their own right. A tight and well-deserved hug coupled with a sweet, “Mama, I love you,” ought to do the trick.
