I have to admit: I’ve played a lot of Japanese otome games before. For those who don’t know—otome games are dating simulations wherein you play a female character whose goal is to develop a romantic relationship (or relationshipS) with the male characters in the game. And I have tried a bunch, ranging from the normal school-set ones, to high fantasy ones, horror types, and even Hatoful Boyfriend, that otome wherein you date pigeons.

P i g e o n s.

Trust me, it’s Japan we’re talking about here. They’ve got one for every wild fantasy and fetish–however dark and dirty they may be.

Anyway, I thought I’ve seen it all. Apparently not.

Last Sunday while I was scrolling through my Twitter before mass started (yes, I was in a church), I came across this strange ad.

Man-faced horse? Possible beastiality? This is the stuff of nightmares.

I had to try it.

And so my journey began.

So, in the game, you play a girl who can’t find a boyfriend in the city, so her brilliant idea was to move to the countryside to find one.

Of course, the only other male in this game would have to look like this. Your leading guy is a man-faced horse, for god’s sake.

Well, that didn’t take long at all.

The game has an explanation as to why the girl you play is attracted to horses. Apparently, this is it. This could be the only logical explanation, yes.

Feeding him lots of carrots makes your bond grow stronger. *heart eyes* *heart emojis*

This is it, guys. THIS IS IT.

Also, he hooved that wall so hard that it cracked:

You have to train Yuuma (yes, it has a name) to do what normal (lol) young stallions do, like run on treadmills, even when you have the entire field for him to gallop on.

I’ve never had a guy cook me breakfast before. But it’s okay now, I have my horse man to do it for me. <3

This is probably not the best thing to say to your horse boyfriend…

I had to give up at this point. But I could tell you this–while My Horse Prince is obviously not meant to be taken seriously, it’s a great laugh with actual good graphics. I’m not even kidding. If you can get past the fact that he is literally a horse with an anime bishounen‘s face, then by all means, give it a go.

I haven’t opened the app since then, but my friend is still playing it, and she was kind enough to share some screen caps of her progress. Apparently, I am missing out on a lot.

Oh, ok.