Hearing people say, “You’ve grown a lot like your mom” means different things to people. What sounds like a compliment to some is a cringe-worthy remark to others. How each person takes the statement to heart depends on their relationship with their mothers.  The truth is, some want to be like their moms, while others  don’t.

There comes a time when one feels the need to look in the mirror and see how much one is like mom. Growing up, we try our best to build our own identities, highlighting parts of us that we are proud of and hiding less-appealing traits.

Nevertheless, no matter how much we want to be our own person, there will always be a part of us that is mom-given—those inevitable parts of our moms that we might consider a gift or curse. For instance, those childbearing hips you’ve always detested, or that lanky frame you have. It can be her eyes, her nose, or even her long, slender fingers that they say are good for playing the piano.

Some mom-given traits can grow on you, or rub off on you. It can be something as attitudinal as your flaring temper or mile-long patience, or as trivial as obsessing over handbags or hair color, or even your caffeine addiction.

While some are proud to have gotten something from their mothers, others aren’t as happy. Being “just like your mom” will always have its consequences and benefits. Comparisons will be endless, but so will praise and criticism.

Now what? Accept that you are you, but with a dash of your mom in you. Whether you’ve acquired her talents, traits or imperfections, the trick is accepting and working with them to make you a better person.