Janine Berdin doesn’t hold anything back, ever. When Demi Lovato reacted to her viral live performance of “What if I Miss You for the Rest of My Life?,” she went full fan mode to what was only a two-word comment on her Instagram: “Hello?????… I sing and write because I grew up wanting to be just like you. I can’t believe you heard me sing in this lifetime.”
Similarly, she didn’t even try to play it cool when “Obsession” star Inde Navarrette followed her on social media. While she claims she just wanted to say thank you for following—“if she unfollows me, whatever” in her own words—she says, “I’m genuinely fangirling so hard. You are one of the most talented actresses ever to me. I know it doesn’t mean anything at all, but just know ‘Obsession’ is in this little Filipina’s Letterboxd top 4.”
And this was anything but nonchalant.
That’s Berdin for you. The “Sitwasyonship” singer is the type to border a breakdown mid-performance in Seltsam, of all places. She wears her heart on her sleeve and is on the verge of tears no matter the stage. She’s also the type to overshare and explain how her recent hit song was written while “sh*tting on the toilet”—unprompted, mind you.
A bit much or maybe even melodramatic to some; still, you can’t deny that she leaves it all on the stage.
READ: Dolly Parton: Country music’s dolled up but deserving queen
A series of unbelievable events
The last year has been surreal for the “Tawag ng Tanghalan” 2018 winner.
She released her debut album “Lab Songs ng mga Tanga” with a mix of confidence and apprehension. “I know you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself, and you always have plenty of chances when it comes to music. Regardless, I wanted to cement something with my debut,” shares Berdin during the Scout cover shoot at Malagihay Cocktail Club in San Juan.
But at the same time, she believed in what she had worked on, even if it wasn’t the case for everyone else. “A lot of people weren’t too sold on it. For the first few months, no one really gave a f*ck about the record,” adds Berdin, recounting the lukewarm reception to the album.
Nonetheless, she knew from the get-go that she had done her best on the project. “I would say I did it right. I fought for my band, and I fought for what I heard, and my vision—but I’m just glad I get to work with people who hear me out even when I’m hard-headed.”
Call it belief or manifestation, but it was this faith in what she had put out to the world that her music found its way to the right ears. And even then, the song that took everyone by surprise, “What if I Miss You for the Rest of My Life?” wasn’t even on the cards for her.
“It really was just an album track. We didn’t think it was a super strong single,” explains Berdin, recounting her surprise at its reception. To illustrate, “What if I Miss You for the Rest of My Life?” had barely a million streams on Spotify at the start of the year.
But as of writing, it has 26,658,126 streams. An overnight hit—though a little late to the party.
“I always knew in my heart that someone would get it eventually, even though a lot of people said it wasn’t the right move. So when it happened, when people started liking the album, I didn’t react much at first because I was ready for it, in a way.”
But don’t mistake this for blind confidence. You can believe in your talents and your art, but millions of streams months after the album will always come as a surprise to anyone, especially Berdin. “I just feel like I’m floating. I believed in my music, but I also can’t absorb how fast everything’s going on.”
“I always knew in my heart that someone would get it eventually, even though a lot of people said it wasn’t the right move.
Following the unexpected success of her debut project, Berdin recently released the album’s deluxe edition, “More Lab Songs Ng Mga Tanga,” which includes four additional tracks: “Promise..!!!,” “Mirisi,” “Friendship Over,” and “Uneasy.” On top of that, she’s also set to embark on her first-ever headline concert this October at the New Frontier Theater.
Yes, things are undoubtedly going fast. But the way things are looking, she’s far from done.
READ: The stories Janine Berdin tells with ink
To be the best friend she never had
There is no shortage of biriteras in the industry. But on top of Berdin’s ability to command awe and attention through her voice, it’s her unfiltered honesty that separates her from the rest of the pack—whether through the stories she tells or the vulnerability she opens herself up to every time she steps up to the stage.
“I really wear my heart on my sleeve. If I’m angry, you can see it on my face; if I’m upset, you can really tell. I don’t know how to hide it.”
During our interview, I told her that I would occasionally feel a tinge of secondhand embarrassment whenever I would watch her. Not that it’s criticism or a dig at her, but you can’t deny that Berdin is close to tears virtually every time she performs. While she explains that she does get embarrassed every now and then, for her, there is nothing to be ashamed of in the art she is wholeheartedly putting out there.
“With my songs, I’m not embarrassed at all because those are stories I chose to share and tell. And because I know someone out there needs it.”
Berdin didn’t have many friends growing up. “When I had something I needed to get off my chest, and I couldn’t tell my family, I’d always have a song to comfort me. I’ve always felt the need to give it back to the universe. I want my songs to be someone’s best friends.”
“With my songs, I’m not embarrassed at all because those are stories I chose to share and tell. And because I know someone out there needs it.”
The bumps and pushes along the way
Coming from Cebu, Berdin entered the industry with nothing more than a voice and a dream to make it big. Not only was she naturally quiet, but she also didn’t know how to interact with people, especially being Bisaya who knew little to no Tagalog.
The culture was different, too. Saying hi to people you come across may mean nothing to some. But for her, not doing it landed her in early trouble with her management. “I was sat down in meetings and told I had to say hi to people,” explains Berdin, sharing how she may have been seen as a snob during her first years in the big city.
It took a while for Berdin to come out of her shell—understandably so—but it was also through a few acts of kindness that led to her embracing the artist and person she is.
When asked what her favorite collaboration was, she points to two: “Mahika” with Adie and “Pancit” with Juan Karlos.
With “Mahika,” she explains that it was unexpected for an indie artist such as Adie to want to collaborate with a “new-gen birit diva” such as herself. “You wouldn’t think to collab with me, but he believed in me and reached out—we didn’t know each other, and he didn’t even know if I wrote songs,” adds Berdin. “I would like to think it’s one of the reasons I’m here. Because Adie believed in me.”
Meanwhile, “Pancit” is her undisputed favorite. “Juan Karlos was really one of the first to believe in me sa songwriting,” shares Berdin. “He pushed me to become who I am now. And I think ‘Pancit’ is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever [been a part of].”
READ: How ‘Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang’ changed Filipino cinema
Where she was meant to be
Going back to the days of “Tawag ng Tanghalan,” Berdin never imagined she would join the competition, let alone win the whole thing. In fact, she wanted to go to “The Voice” and would practice every day in the restroom and talk to herself as if she were doing the audition.
“Kunwari ako si coach Bamboo and I would say: ‘Wow Janine you’re such an old soul, why did you sing that song?’ I thought I’d go on ‘The Voice,’ but I guess the universe had different plans.”
When asked what she would tell herself if she were granted the ability to talk to the version of herself who was just about to join “Tawag ng Tanghalan,” she had this to say: “Be prepared because the industry isn’t the way you thought it was. You’re gonna go through sh*t, and it’s unfair, but it’s good you went through it because you’re the way you are because of it.”
It’s really the things we don’t expect that push us to where we’re supposed to be. For Berdin, it’s in the form of comments and follows from her favorite stars, the support of her peers in the industry, and, of course, the undying love and adoration of her fans.Heck, this even includes her out-of-fish beginnings in the industry, and the fact that she joined the ‘wrong’ music show. Still, she wouldn’t change a single thing.
But this doesn’t have to come from me, or any of us. Just watch her perform. That’s the look of someone making the most of their shot—someone who clearly doesn’t have the time to be nonchalant. F*ck that.
Photos by JT Fernandez
Art direction by Zoe Sabandal
Styled by Gee Jocson, assisted by Reese Capistrano and Kassandra Gandionco
Hair and Makeup by Loren Kaye Sapin
First layout (bathroom): Rave Mesh Tank from Atomic World, Geometric Ceiling Pants by Ashanti, Celestial Synchrony Set & Moonlit Infinity Necklace by Chainsxfashion
Second layout (couch): BN Flat Knit Vest from Blanc Nue, Bonnie Bloomers from Dust Bunny, Striped Bloomer Shorts by @dxtrydollz, Celestial Synchrony Earrings by Chainsxfashion, and Epoca Maserati watch from Urban Time
Third layout (curtains): Foam Sleeveless Top by RAF, Hearless Dress from BRUHA, “Call me Darling” socks from FICKLEMINDED, Serpentis Blade Necklace by Chainsxfashion, and nails from Chroma Nails
