If you’re on a budget (like me) but can’t help dreaming of the lovely stocking stuffers you’d purchase for yourself if price were no object (also me), then welcome to team Low Budget, Plenty Imagination. If the only tabs left stagnating on your browser are your 2020 budget sheets and shopping tabs of the things you’ve been salivating over, then we are probably the same person.
I’ve prepared a list of presents here that I wish someone would give me. Filled with amusing objects in a range of prices—from “Oh OK, not bad” while making your “phew” face when the sales assistant offers you the price tag to “Oh, I’ll have to skip food for several weeks to afford this”—this is a gift list that works in reverse. This is not to give you ideas per se, but something you can send to a wealthy loved one or family member, perhaps your single uncle who spends half the year traveling to far flung locales with his well-dressed gang of equally single friends.
Think of this as a Christmas card that says “Happy Holidays! Maybe you’d like to get this for me!”
Burger pendant
The burger necklace, Jul B Dizon’s ode to iconic quar food, is indisputably the cheekiest present you could send to food lovers prone to ordering late night delivery. Only this time, their primary order won’t be a double patty, extra onions, it’ll be a brown diamond-studded patty, red sapphire tomato slice, with gold melted cheese and lettuce and ‘diamond’ seeds on buns instead.
Available at Jul B. Dizon, P98,000
Carne Bollente sex map shirt
For the uninitiated, Carne Bollente’s sex positive cheeky separates play on topical themes. The founders define their Paris-based label thus: “By pairing straightforward streetwear staples with scenic sex illustrations that manage to cover a wide scope of sexual taboos without verging on the problematic, we inject irreverence and provocation into no-frills basics.” Anyway, here’s a T-shirt with a map of Greece that says “Welcum to Greece” from their The Odyssex collection.
Available at Hoodwink, P5,898
Lorico heart-shaped candle
Designer Jerome Lorico’s Manila After Dark candles, shaped like anatomical hearts in three hues and scents, is “a love letter to the city and to all the souls who are missing its heartbeat.”
“We gathered these stories and distilled them into scents the same way we collect memories to remind us of a certain place, person, or emotion,” Jerome says.
Send to loved ones who unfailingly compare astrological birth charts of their crushes within five minutes of meeting them.
Available via Lorico Instagram, P1,200
Crafted at Home focaccia
After watching six focaccia tutorials and scanning mixer prices, I scrapped my plans to make bread and decided the true indulgence was to purchase the most-wanted focaccia of the year: Karla Mendoza’s Fiorentina, made with wild spinach, red onions, cherry tomato confit, roasted garlic, Parmesan and fontina.
Mendoza’s focaccia and boules are sold out for the rest of the year but you can join the waitlist for next year and give yourself the gift of bread your future self will thank you for.
Available at @crafted_at_home, P550
Hermes lip care balm
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A lip balm is a perfectly practical present, but Hermes’ version, in its refillable metal case and iconic orange box, transcends practicality. Consider it the Birkin of lip balms, thanks to its high concentration of beeswax and candelilla wax.
Available at Rustan’s Makati or via Viber at 0917-8438017, P3,600
Hay Sponge
For people who hate doing the dishes, this adorable dish sponge makes the task a little less bleak. The polyurethane foam from the Danish label inspires even the laziest in the household. An ideal present for a slothful sibling.
Available at Design Story, P445
Massimo Lunardon blowfish decanter
This charmingly kooky decanter makes drinking the eight glasses of water you need to consume daily a more enjoyable task. Hand-blown in Italy using borosilicate glass, known for its durability and resistance to thermal stress, this decanter says, “Life is miserable but at least you get to drink out of me.”
Available at Univers, P11,798
Hindy Weber Healing Face Oil
Designer Hindy Weber launched an organic skincare line this year and the standout is her healing face oil, made with golden jojoba oil, pili nut oil, black cumin oil and essential oils of rose, patchouli and sandalwood. The face oil is calming, rejuvenating and rich in antioxidants—all the things we need after this hellfire of a year. An ideal present for a friend with a growing interest in clean beauty or, most importantly, yourself.
Available at Hindy Weber, P2,250
Hansel from Basel Corbusier Crew socks
For people who’ve spent most of the year indoors, this ode to the Swiss-French architect is a nod to all the design nerds raring to explore architectural landmarks but will have to resort to their explore feed instead.
Available at Guava Sketches, P980
Read more:
Nolisoli home decor gift guide in case we still end up indoors in 2021
Nolisoli Gift Guide: Fashion for the time being and maybe after quarantine
