It’s the case that’s currently sweeping the nation: two talented young college basketball players from one of the most prestigious universities in the country have tragically died in an unfortunate swimming-related incident at a beach in Aurora province.
So many details are missing: nobody wants to say what incoming freshman Rene Baterbonia and sophomore Divine Adili were exactly doing when they got swept away by a strong current; there was apparently a third student who got caught up but survived; and nobody really knows what the Ateneo de Manila men’s basketball team was actually in Aurora for.
But this isn’t going to be the place to try to dispute any facts. Instead, this will be all about the messy and ridiculous aftermath that has ensued in the days following the news.
Here’s a guide on what not to do in the wake of tragedy.
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1. Don’t hide from the families
If we’re believing the grieving family of Baterbonia—and it’s very hard not to—Ateneo did not inform the family about what happened to their son.
Baterbonia’s mother, Rovelyn, has stated that before she flew out to Manila, Ateneo did not give her any news or show her any photos or videos of Rene. It took a while for the family to get a clear picture of what happened, whereas Ateneo simply posted a brief, calculated, and crafted message on social media that quickly announced the tragedy.
When something goes wrong on your watch, you don’t want to be the person or organization that looks and sounds cold. You’ve got to step up and own up to what happened, and you have to take all the emotional anguish that comes with the mistake.
That also goes for Ateneo de Manila men’s basketball coach, Tab Baldwin, who took until the end of the week and mounting pressure to say something to finally release a heavy, emotional video statement on social media in which he apologized profusely without directly admitting to any negligence or malice.
Prior to this, Ateneo has already put out a statement saying that the management was the one that personally requested Baldwin to remain silent to “allow official processes to proceed and the facts to be established.” But this particular move and all the messages they’ve been broadcasting so far feel cold and hollow when the families and affected people want and need something human—if not reassuring.
Before Baldwin spoke, too much focus had seemed to be put on doing their best to manage this whole thing internally and not directly address a steadily growing outcry. It was a good thing that the coach finally made a solemn statement.
2. Don’t sensationalize the tragedy
This one might be the most obvious, but it’s appalling how many people still don’t get this.
Fans, analysts, and media outlets are complicit here. Some people are posting videos of the immediate aftermath of the incident, some people are milking the dramatic grief of Rovelyn Baterbonia, and some are simply using what happened as a means to create talking-head content, whether they’re spitting correct takes or not.
Pretty sure it’s very clear why this is wrong—people just can’t help themselves.
But this is a deeply embedded systemic issue, too. We live in a hell where social media has become highly monetized through every piece of content engineered to draw reactions, clicks, and shares. We also live in a capitalist dystopia in which most people are enticed to play the game and be a part of that machine just to try and make money, raise their clout, or both.
It’s just that the machine greatly rewards the business of insensitivity, and all the circumstances are ripe for this to be a moneymaking case. We lose our soul and humanity by taking part in it.
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3. Don’t try to temper other people’s grief and rage
This one is mostly for the Ateneo alumni who want to protect the school and the men’s basketball team coaches, all for glory in the UAAP. It’s for those asking for civility in the guise of “let the families grieve,” because for them, seeing the rage means the men’s basketball program is going to be in deep trouble.The only way to honor the dead is to demand justice. Because honestly, it could have been anyone else whose lives were risked out there. It just so unfortunately happened to be Baterbonia and Adili in this case.And even when other former Blue Eagles players, such as Mike Nieto, have said that this bootcamp-style training is a thing that happens every year with the Ateneo team, the whole point is to prevent something like this from happening again—from the cause to the aftermath.
4. Don’t make this another Luzon vs. Visayas and Mindanao thing
And lastly, one of the worst things you could do with a tragedy is instantly make it a political weapon to stoke regionalist, tribalist, and fanatical fires.
Yes, there are people from Mindanao who are already making Baterbonia some sort of martyr for Mindanaoans against oppressive Luzon. While there are legitimate gripes to be had against “imperial Manila,” this is never the time and place to co-opt very real grief in such a crass and tasteless way.
Unfortunately, however, crass and tasteless behavior is just how these people operate. And even worse, nothing I say about this is going to stop this wave of bad-faith agitating. But I need to try, regardless.
I’ll be clear in that I don’t expect a deeply flawed nation and society to learn all these lessons, and we as a people will continue to wound already-devastated families. But we need to at least try to do better as we keep holding the organization accountable for what could have been a preventable loss of life.That said, I hope that the souls of Baterbonia and Adili rest in peace—and more importantly, I hope that they ultimately get the justice that they deserve.
