Dear Emily,
I’m 21 years old, and just graduated from a computer science course last April.
Last month, I got into one of the top IT companies in the country. I underwent training and was given a regular position with a big salary. Unfortunately, I resigned after a month. I didn’t feel like I could do that for a living for the rest of my life.
The problem is, I took a course I wasn’t interested in. But since I was on an educational plan, it would have involved a long process to shift to another course. I am now regretting that decision.
When I was a student, I barely passed my subjects. Because of that, I feel incompetent whenever I am given a task. I feel I lack the skills. Maybe this is why I resigned from that IT company. I was scared.
Whenever I went to work, I always worried I wouldn’t be able to do the task that would be given to me. I felt inferior to my colleagues, and felt that I didn’t belong there. My friends suggested I try call centers, but I don’t know if my pride can take it. All of them are in good IT companies, whereas I’ll be stuck in a call center—not that I look down on that kind of work. But compared to where they are and what they’re doing, call center work is of a lower standard.
I want to study again, pursue something I’m good at, like drawing. But my parents won’t support me anymore. They are already pressuring me to look for a job. But I don’t want to get a job that I will be resigning from after a couple months.
I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is psychological but I feel like my future is hopeless.
—Toinks
For someone who is jobless and doesn’t know what she wants, you sure are a snob! You’d rather beat your head and ramble on how hopeless your future seems, yet you look over your shoulder at your friends who you think have such great jobs—and proclaim that you’re not prepared to take anything less than what they’re having!
How do you know that some of them aren’t feeling as hopeless as you are—and the only difference is that they’re trying their darnedest to make a go of it?
Remember the song that goes: “The other man’s grass is always greener, the sunshine’s better on the other side”? You cannot be jealous of something you are not prepared to handle, can you?
Not everyone has the capacity to see a clear vision of their future. Some very fulfilled and successful people didn’t even know what it was they wanted until they reached their 40s, or even their 50s! One man in the news many years ago went back to study medicine when he was already in his 50s, while another, a practicing doctor, shifted the course of his life and became a writer. The most awesome was a woman who was already in her 70s when she went into sports, and is now breaking her own world records in javelin-throwing, at 92.
Nothing is ever carved in stone. It is never too late or too early to improve yourself, no matter your age.
If your parents are pressuring you to do something, then go! It’s only fair to them. Get a temporary job. Break the ice, or test the waters, so to speak. See where you’d be most comfortable. And stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Heed that line from Desiderata: “If you compare yourself with others, there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself…”
What truly matters is to know yourself well and be happy—whatever the job is.
E-mail [email protected] or [email protected], subject: Lifestyle.
