DEAR EMILY,

I’m a 50-plus single mother of six, and have been separated now for almost four years. I’m partly to blame for the breakup of my 20-plus-year marriage, but it is nothing compared to the possessiveness and jealousies of my husband. My contribution to the never-ending trust issues was being silent.

The story I want to share is: I migrated to the US 29 years ago. I had a fiancé I left behind, because he wanted to pursue his career in the military without the responsibility of marriage.

After the breakup of my marriage, my former fiancé and I got back together three years ago, and we still have no idea where this will take us. I am happy the way it is. He has separated from his wife, but we’re still not living together. A lot of our relatives do not approve of our relationship.

I believe that we only have one life to live, and I intend to live each day happily and to the fullest. I have committed myself to this relationship. I have left out the whys and wherefores of our affair. It has not been easy, but it is all worth the wait.

My ex-husband has already moved on and has a live-in partner. I am still hoping he will mend his ways with our kids.—Live in Faith

Answer:

Aren’t you lucky fate is giving you one more chance at happiness? Never mind if you’re surrounded by naysayers and gossipmongers. You’re the pilot in this journey, it’s your life, and you’re the only one who should matter. Everybody else can go fly a kite if this does not suit them or even concern them.

If they are not a mainstay in your life, like the bacteria in your gut, why even bother? Boo to them! Don’t they have their own problems?

Stay in the moment and enjoy it. Don’t go galloping into tomorrow, asking where this affair will take you. Nobody knows. As the late Fr. John Delaney, the great chaplain of UP, once said in his writings, “The future is not yet ours. We may never have to live it. We certainly cannot live it before its time. That leaves us only the present.”

As you yourself had signed in your letter, “Live in Faith”—stand by it. You’ve said it all.

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