Your Mantra For The Week

 

Everybody loves me because I love ME.

 

 

Let us divide our lives into four areas: health, wealth, relationships and success. Let us figure out the most significant area of all. I believe that our relationships determine the level of happiness in our lives, starting with our relationship with ourselves.

 

Many are not aware of how important this is and, therefore, are unable to explain why their relationship with others is not the way they want it to be. They are sure it is the other party that is the culprit and cause of their problems.

 

Those who have consulted me about their failing relationships are often disappointed when I tell them they must first change themselves to improve any relationship. They come to me expecting to get sympathy, but instead get objectivity.

 

Well, I guess that is why psychiatrists enjoy so much popularity. They do listen patiently to a lot of finger-pointing, blaming, judging and a myriad of accusations.

 

In the world of consciousness, the psychiatrist experience is called imbibing, that is why psychiatrists have to see fellow psychiatrists to unwind and get back to center. If I were asked, I would recommend a lot of luxuriating and many “selfie” activities for them.

 

The same goes for actors who must play villains, shady characters or unhappy human beings. Bette Davis, after joining an organization such as the one I now head, was said to have remarked: “Now I understand why I had so many failed relationships; I brought home with me the women I played and they were all absolutely problematic.”

 

Our relationships area not only affects our health and sense of well-being, but also our money and success zones. When people get ill and ask me about the mental and emotional cause of their ailment (all physical ailments have mental and emotional causes), I always counter with the question “WHO is the matter with you?”

 

That’s because it has been shown that the source of illnesses is really the mental and emotional experience, followed by a physical cause. For example, when one is heartbroken and depressed, he/she unknowingly becomes a magnet for germs and viruses in the atmosphere, and, depending on the intensity of the emotion, will attract the equivalent bacteria.

 

I did a survey in a private hospital at one time and asked the patients—who was the matter with them?—and they always responded: you mean what and not who. Who, I would always insist.

 

After a while, the patients would relate their stories. After careful analysis, each one would begin to see it was a who: either a person or a group of people like family, or a business partner, a friend, or simply an unloving relationship with oneself.

 

Consider the following

 

If you have an unloving relationship with yourself, just keep singing the song “I Love Myself” that I wrote about a few columns ago. And to improve your relationship with others, please consider:

 

1. Curb your desire to be right. Simply respond to what another person has been saying without argument or giving advice.

 

2. Listen actively to others by listening to the emotions behind the words. Listen with your heart and paraphrase what the person has said to you. Drop any tendency to fix or explain.

 

3. Forget the person’s past and forget trying to win.

 

4. Remember that serving others is the goal, not to overpower or to sway them.

 

5. Keep yourself away from intervening in family business disputes. Just affirm and visualize that those concerned can resolve their differences for the good of all.

 

6. If you find the need to teach someone, before you speak, ask yourself mentally how God would handle the situation. If not, ask the person’s permission if he or she wants to be corrected.

 

At this juncture, I would like to thank those who have written to me to say that they enjoy reading my articles. I would like to let them know that I have a radio program called “Positive Session” over DWIZ am radio every Saturday, 9-10 p.m. They can also visit my Facebook account for questions they may want to ask.

 

Exquisite ambience

 

You find the most interesting people in two of my favorite restaurants.

 

The Makati Garden Club, on Ayala corner Edsa, opened its previously private restaurant called Maria Luisa to the public last year. However, due to some objections from Ayala Corp., it is now strictly for members and their guests only.

 

Believe me, it’s worth your while to become a member of this wonderful club, not only because of the beautiful garden it maintains where you can buy the best flowering foliage, rare bonsais and a variety of ornamental plants, but also for chef Robert Lilja’s French cuisine that is addictive.

 

Wait till you try the following: Chef Special Chilean Mussels Three Ways, Escargot de Maison Two Ways, Lapu Lapu in Clam, Chorizo and Tomato Sauce, Avocado Risotto, Bomba di Risi, Ox tongue Risotto.

 

Maria Luisa’s ambience is as exquisite as its cuisine. It will transport you to one of those beautiful and homey country restaurants of Europe. Maria Luisa Perez-Rubio is the founder of Makati Garden Club; the chairperson is now her daughter, Mindy Perez-Rubio.

 

By the way, chef Robert is P-Noy’s favorite chef; P-Noy is my favorite president despite what his critics say. On an ordinary day at Maria Luisa, you will see the likes of Jose Mari Chan and his lovely wife, Mary; my childhood friend, the ever-charming Evelyn Forbes; Olivia Romulo; billionaire retailer Ben Chan; MSD director Beaver Tamesis; Angela Soriano and Ambassador Bienvenido Tantoco Sr., who recently celebrated a birthday in Amanpulo with family and close friends.

 

Best Spanish cuisine

 

Bettina Araneta Aboitiz’s Donosti is in Global City, on the same street as St. Luke’s in the Security Bank building. It is unlike any other Spanish restaurant I have experienced. The use of oil is so subtle that you don’t get that “heavy” feeling after a truly delectable Spanish meal.

 

Donosti brings to Manila the best cuisine from all regions of Spain, but focusing on San Sebastian in the north.

 

Chef Pablo Lopez’s rendition of Brandada de Bacalao, Cordero Lechal, Ensalada de Queso Fresco and Chopitos Fritos (baby squid) are just a few of the must-try dishes. With maitre d’ Jan Vaquero in the dining room, the teamwork is impeccable.

 

The evening I was there, it was studded with beautiful people like Louie Ysmael, Iñigo Zobel and friends.

 

I wonder whether Iñigo is aware of the $500 million that someone left his father, Enrique; and Dr. Lourdes Pascual, who was that someone’s acupuncturist and confidante and whose murder two years ago remains unsolved.

 

Before her untimely death, she was asking me to accompany her to withdraw said amount, because she and Enrique had agreed that whoever outlived the other would get the whole windfall. Dr. Lourdes did not get to go to Ireland, so the largesse is still waiting to be claimed.

 

Seeing Iñigo brought to mind his mother, painter Rocio Urquijo, who was one of my all-time favorite people. She was not only a good artist but a lady of great sense and sensibility.

 

Jun and Menchu Lopez were also around with a group from the gated villages of Makati City. Not to mention Robert Coyiuto Jr. and a retinue of associates whose Bentleys and Mercedes Benzes paraded conspicuously in front of Donosti.

 

And speaking of Mercedes Benzes, who is the principal of Gregorio Yu’s Mercedes Benz distributorship who also happens to be a prominent Cabinet secretary of the last two administrations?

 

It is pure joy to be riding a Benz, I must admit. Yes, it’s “the best or nothing.”