Niccolo Manahan can be self-deprecating to a fault.

 

“I hate the sound of my voice, and I hate looking at myself,” says the 35-year-old actor who recently played M in Red Turnip Theater’s “Cock.”

 

Interestingly, his character in Mike Bartlett’s Olivier Award-winning play proved to be his antithesis. M was a stern, authoritative, at times all-knowing boyfriend to John, played by Topper Fabregas.

 

“It’s funny because I relate more to John,” says Manahan. “People see Hamlet in John because he’s very indecisive. He has a lot on his mind and, because of that, he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do, what he wants to be. I’m a lot like that—trying to figure out who I am.”

 

Director Rem Zamora was instrumental in convincing Manahan to return to the theater scene after a self-imposed two-year break. (Manahan was last seen as Brandon in Repertory Philippines’ staging of Geoffrey Nauffts’ “Next Fall.”)

 

“‘Cock’ was one of the readings I helped them out with before Red Turnip became as it is,” says Manahan. “Rem asked if I wanted to play M. I wasn’t so sure but he said he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

 

Offstage work

 

In the two years Manahan was out of the spotlight, he busied himself in the advertising industry; after all, he obtained a degree in business communications at the University of Asia and the Pacific. Currently he works as a copywriter for an ad agency in Pasig City.

 

In those years, Manahan says he didn’t miss being onstage that much.

 

“There’s a lot of pressure when you’re in a play. You have to memorize your lines, make sure you’re in the moment. It’s fun but sometimes it can be nerve-wracking. Sometimes I just enjoy being in the audience and watch people perform. It’s relaxing, especially when you know what goes into making that kind of play,” he says.

 

It’s a different story, though, when he watches a play and sees a role he’d love to play: “I do feel nostalgic, but not to the point that I want to return.”

 

Leaving the theater scene temporarily and joining the corporate world gave Manahan a host of opportunities. For one, he felt more comfortable as an actor.

 

“I was quite sheltered in theater. When I worked in the advertising industry, I was in a completely new world. I had no idea what I was doing. I was making a lot of mistakes. I met a lot of people I didn’t like.

 

“When I experienced those things and I took them to heart, it helped me when I went back for ‘Next Fall.’ I used what I learned in the ‘real world’ when I performed. I noticed that I now felt more comfortable as an actor. It also translated to ‘Cock’ two years after,” he says.

 

Starting early

 

Manahan’s appreciation of the performing arts started early. His sister Patty Manahan and father Bonggoy Manahan are respected thespians. Despite having two members in the family actively involved in the theater, he says, “My dad didn’t want me to go into theater because he knew how hard it was to make a living out of it.”

 

But when he saw his dad and sister do it, Manahan thought it was something he could also do.

 

In the early 2000s, after graduating from UA&P, Manahan pursued theater, joining Repertory Philippines’ Children’s Theater where he played the Prince and the Hunter in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

 

Manahan says it was a nerve-wracking experience since he didn’t know anyone then, although people knew his family’s theater background.

 

“When I saw people and they would say, ‘I know your dad/sister,’ there was a little bit of pressure”—a feeling he says he hasn’t learned to overcome.

 

“I haven’t really felt that I have established myself (in theater), which is another reason why I decided to take on a job. It doesn’t really go away—the feeling that you have to live up to a certain expectation, especially your own,” he says.

 

As an actor, Manahan is easily dissatisfied with himself whenever he commits even just a single mistake.

 

“I don’t think I’m a perfectionist. I just look down on myself a lot of times,” he admits.

 

Challenge

 

“Cock,” a roughly 90-minute play, had no intermission. The actors were always onstage and didn’t have the luxury of time and space to compose themselves.

 

“It was hard since M had to go through a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Especially at the end when I had to break down, it’s difficult to find that space and time to get into that emotion where you’re completely defeated,” says Manahan. “But since you could hear your fellow actors arguing, I fed onto that.”

 

It had been a while since he acted on stage; memorizing the script proved to be a challenge. In “Cock,” Manahan’s character had the bulk of the biting and humorous lines.

 

“Sometimes before the play started, I would take choice lines that really defined who M was, and I’d go through them until I felt comfortable with the character, with what he was feeling,” he recounts. “I tried to get into that frame of mind, so that when I was onstage it came naturally.”

 

First kiss

 

Despite having been cast in gay roles in previous performances (Brandon in Rep’s “Next Fall,” the possibly homosexual Father Flynn in Atlantis Productions’ “Doubt”), it was in “Cock” where Manahan had his first kiss with a male co-actor.

 

Manahan says it wasn’t an awkward scene since he and Topper are good friends and they are comfortable with each other. “When you’re in that character, in that moment, it’s not something that you worry about or think of when it’s happening. It’s just something that you do.”

 

He was actually more concerned about his portrayal of a gay character than the kissing scene. “My worry was that I would act it out as a caricature. I told that to Rem and he said he’d take care of it. He’d make sure I was within proper limits.”

 

He’s also not afraid of being stereotyped. Two of the parts he’d like to do are in the same vein—Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a transvestite scientist, in “The Rocky Horror Show,” and Hedwig, a transsexual, in “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.”

 

“They’re fun to watch so I’m assuming they’re fun to perform,” he says.

 

Now that “Cock” has wrapped up, people are talking to Manahan about possible projects. Will he be up to it?

 

“I promised myself I’ll audit my experience with ‘Cock.’ When I did ‘Next Fall,’ I said never again, yet I did ‘Cock’. I’m thinking of doing another play, but with a minor role, or probably just readings so that it wouldn’t be as taxing on my workload,” he says.

 

What about him, his father and sister sharing the same stage?

 

“Baby Barredo said she has always wanted to do a play with the three of us. Now that would be amazing,” he muses.