One of the most painful things a person could ever experience would be to lose a friend. It could be a close friend, a special friend, or even a distant friend. It feels strange and difficult to let go of someone who used to be there for you.
Losing a friend probably feels like a dagger to the heart. It could feel like you’ve broken both your legs and you feel shaky; like a part of you has suddenly been snatched by force. You don’t really need to experience an organ being ripped out of your body to know what it could feel like.
I have a friend whom I used to be extremely close to. Although we didn’t talk too often, our conversations were always full of life. They were never awkward. Whenever I felt the weight of the world, and whenever I felt insecure, he’d be there to give his honest insights and sincere compliments that made me feel better about myself.
That’s why people were surprised to find out my friend and I did not always get along. We fought like we had nothing in common; argued like we had never once agreed. But we would make up after a few minutes, as if nothing happened. I assume that’s how friendship is. We would never look back on our arguments and we’d always stay the same, no matter what.
Suddenly, out of the blue, we became extremely distant from each other. Whenever I would speak to him, he seemed like he was just forcing himself to speak to me. He would be different, he would be so distant and cold. He changed. And I was scared.
I confronted him about it, but it only led to more pain. I was no longer the friend he was able to talk to freely. He was no longer the friend I turned to for advice. He seemed to have flown to another planet; he’s never coming back. It felt like my heart was being choked by a thick rope, like my hands and feet had been cut off their blood supply, and I was almost prepared to pass out.
This boy was so important to me, and when I thought I was the same to him, I had become nothing. It may seem crazy, how much I appreciate my friends, but they’re my support.
A friend is someone who is there for you. They are capable of saying the bitter truth––and the sweetest of compliments. They won’t ever be afraid of letting you know the truth and what is real. They know your personality inside and out, accept you for your minor imperfections, and influence you to change when they find your major imperfections.
They are always patient with you. They will be there. They have ears that want to listen, shoulders that can catch your tears, a mind that can understand, and a heart that can heal and be trusted.
Friendship is a give-and-take relationship––it’s not a “secret for a secret,” but a “listen while I tell,” and vice versa. You don’t need to hear them talk about their secrets, what they feel, or what they think, as long as you understand their personality, and can listen to them when they need you to listen. At the same time, they can listen when you need to talk to them.
Even though I had a lot of questions upon losing my special friend, and even though it continued to hurt, I realized I have other friends who are there to love and support me, to listen and talk to me, and to understand and trust me. I will always meet more real friends.
My friend has sailed his ship far from mine, and he’ll never return. I liken friends to ships. From my experience, they truly come and go, as it is in their nature to set sail. It is the friends who stay that matter.
I’m happy the ones who have built extensions to my boat and have made marks in my heart are still here, and probably will be here to stay for quite some time. The memories I have of those who left will be what’s left of them in my heart, and maybe in due time, they’ll come back to make more happy memories.
Appreciate your friends, but understand that sometimes, some of them may need to move on and set sail for elsewhere; it’s how they were as a friend that truly counts in the end.
Hannah Nolasco is a 14-year- old student from De La Salle Santiago Zobel School. She hopes to publish a book someday.