DEAR EMILY,

Many friends laugh at me because my problem is not too big, and they think that it shouldn’t bother me. I’m 20 years old and a college student. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend in my life. I have flings and I’m just fooling myself, because most boys just keep on playing with my heart. I don’t know why, but it often happens to me. I want to meet someone who will make me feel special and not think of me as a plaything.

PIE

The friends who hold you dear to their heart should not laugh at you. They should, in fact, give you a good whipping! You’re having flings at 20? Isn’t that a bit young to be flippant about your sexual worth? Shouldn’t your focus be on your studies that would pave the way for a financially independent future? Don’t you know that, in a little while, the unforgiving reality of being an adult will bare its fangs at you?

Out there is brutal competition for good jobs, and only the fittest survive the dog-eat-dog scenario. And to all these, the most ammunition you are bringing are—flings?   Don’t you have any ambition? Are you not planning to make your parents proud of you later on?

Put more focus in your life. Boys will always be around to seduce, attract and just play with you. And while you’re busy having your heart broken while indulging in your “flings,” your future, your life, is slowly slipping away. Before you know it, you’re suddenly old and wondering where the days went.

There’s nothing wrong with “window shopping” now for possible lifetime partners. But giving your all to flings at this young age will not give you the chance to find the ideal partner among the really nice boys.

Sure, some of them will play, have fun and promise you the world. Momentarily, that is—if you’re available and not difficult to get—and why not? But they won’t bring you home to mother.

This may sound old-fashioned and out-of-sync with today’s values, but boys and men still prefer the hard-to-get—believe it or not—no matter how modern they sound and look! Learn your lesson the hard way. Give them a difficult time, and you’ll weed out the rotten from the good. That special person who goes through “fire” to win your heart will value you most and prove to be the most worthy. Isn’t that a better deal? Is that enough of a wake-up call for you?

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