Your mantra for the week: “Harmony reigns in all my relationships.”

In my latest book, “You Are God as You,” I talked about why relationships go wrong… and it starts with yourself. When you are discombobulated within yourself, it is not the right time to get into a relationship.

However, assuming that you are in a relationship, here are pointers that might help make it stable.

The first is Commitment. Trust, loyalty and support come with commitment; without them, there is no real relationship.

The second is Appreciation. We all tend to take for granted the people closest to us. We assume they know they are appreciated and, thus, even such simple compliments—for instance, saying, “You look nice today”—are forgotten.

The third is Communication. We do not have to wait for matters to get so bad till we reach a point of frustration when we have to say, we have to talk. Communication means you are getting across.

Most broken relationships come from the inability to reach out because the other party is “outside of the coverage area” as the cell phone message goes.

Fourth is the necessity for Time Alone—this is usually referred to as needing space. It is important for one’s mental and emotional health to have time alone.

I always ask my fellow Iamists how they can talk properly to the God within if there is always someone bothering them. And when that God answers you, how will you hear that Still Small Voice when you have constant company?

Fifth is a Common Spiritual Orientation. It stands to reason that when you share a spiritual belief, it is easier to build ties. This is not to say that a relationship cannot work when two are of different orientations for as long as there is mutual respect for each other’s devotional beliefs and practices.

(To be continued)

The lion share

So many Leos in my life that I like to greet, such as would-be presidential mother Judy Roxas and aunt Baby Fores; Jaime Ponce de Leon of Leòn Gallery; fashion designer Criselda Lontok; the party giver Marissa Fenton; Miss World franchise holder and wellness guru Cory Quirino; and, of course, the emcee’s emcee Johnny Litton, who had his usual big bash at Dusit Thani hotel last Wednesday.

To my great surprise I was not invited, probably because Johnny believes I am not glamorous enough to dress like a Hollywood icon, and to think I always had the illusion that I was Bob Hope. Now, I have to settle to just be Justin Bieber.

In all the years of our friendship, the only time Johnny stopped inviting me was during the martial law days. So, when a thousand of my friends said that they were invited and I was not, I had to call Malacañang to find out whether Imelda and Ferdinand Marcos were back in power.

Believe it or not, there are some people who actually believe that Ferdinand is still alive and resides somewhere in China. Some even claim they are in the know because they are part of the illuminati. I agree that they do belong to the illumi-nutty.

Consular rivalry

There are two different invitations for the same date, Sept. 22, that have been going around since last month which promise to be controversial because one is trying to outshine the other.

The first invite I got, sent by honorary consul for Monaco Fortune Ledesma, was for Tingting Cojuangco’s Elegant Philippines event to be held at Diamond Hotel. After this column, I do not think I will get an invite to honorary consul for Angola Helen Ong’s Philippine Cancer Society-sponsored 10 Best Dressed Women at Makati Shangri-La.

This could be taken as an undiplomatic statement, but I have never really liked diplomacy. It is too polite for my taste because, most of the time, the underlying unspoken differences are buried under a veneer of what is called “proper decorum.”

To a large extent they are correct, but when it happens to me, I always get a feeling that what I have just experienced was some form of insincere dialogue. And who needs that?

My Iamism lectures are held every Sunday at the function room of Old Swiss Inn Restaurant, Somerset Olympia Tower on Makati Avenue just beside Manila Peninsula.

My radio program, “Positive Session,” is heard every Saturday on DWIZ 882 AM khz from 9 to 10 p.m.

E-mail [email protected]; tel. 0920-9164842