DEAR EMILY,
When my husband and I separated after 15 years of marriage and two children, I vowed never to have anything to do with him again.
He came from a wealthy family, was well-educated and ran his own business. We were very poor, and I barely finished high school. He was on vacation in my province, and I looked attractive enough for him to fall in love with me. Against the wishes of his family, we married.
But it was a mistake from the start. He belittled my background at every turn, never stopped womanizing, and got violent with me and the kids when angry or drunk. I bore it all alone. I left him without warning when he flagrantly paraded his mistresses to my face. He called me names, harassed me and threatened not to support us. I didn’t care.
I went to the province with my children and started life in near poverty, but with my poor relations’ help. I learned how to sew, got employed in a factory, and later, started a small garment business. I taught myself everything—read the books of my kids, watched English movies—all to educate myself.
After decades of a hard life and sacrifice, my children are now both professionals. And I—I am finally comfortable and independent. All this time, I kept the promise I made never to have anything to do with my ex-husband, ever.
He did not fare too well. His business flopped and never recovered. He became ill and has been in and out of the hospital. His last mistress left him when he sold our family house and became a burden to her.
Last Christmas, one of my former in-laws came to tell me they themselves had fallen on hard times, and would I take pity on my ex-husband and take him in? He has been shuttling between his two siblings. I declined, but being a Christian, I said I’d give him whatever I could without draining my own finances. I am aging myself! My children are helping as well, but because he was never a father to them, they’re doing so grudgingly.
I was just thinking about the days when my ex-husband spent money on women and good times, like it was water. Like there was no tomorrow. The world is indeed round.
EX-WIFE
It’s inspiring to read about your little corner of the world. Clearly, you’re a woman of principle who didn’t break in an abusive relationship. You held on to maintain your dignity and strong conviction all throughout your ordeal! This character of yours is commendable and gives hope to the desperate who feel they’ve reached a dead-end road they never deserved.
Despite everything, you’ve remained a good person with a good solid backbone. And could you have ever imagined giving succor in the end to this useless mass of flesh who is coming back to you on all fours?
The gods will look down on you kindly because you didn’t do anything to get back at him. You just went about your business of finding your bearings, your true self, and making do to the hilt with your God-given talent. And look at how fate took care of the rest. God is good! What goes around really does come around.
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