Where do I get birth control and which one should I get? What does an orgasm feel like? How the hell do you do butt stuff? We answer all these questions in our new column about sex. Say hello to The Big O. Last week we talked about genital hygiene.
Eating pussy might as well be advanced calculus by the sheer number of people who are baffled by it. Besides the “confusing” female anatomy (just…just Google it, please), there’s also a misunderstanding of the role of foreplay in sex.
Good foreplay is more than “that thing you do before the fun stuff”—foreplay is half of the fun stuff. Going down on a girl is a good way to get her aroused and wet enough for penetrative sex, but it’s also great on its own. Most of us think that oral sex is just “third base,” but, done right, it can feel even better than a home run.
It takes time and practice to become a Master Cunnilinguist, but here are a few things to get you on the right track.
Make her feel comfortable
The key to a woman’s arousal—and her orgasm—is how wanted she feels in the moment. Compliment her on how she looks, feels, smells, and tastes. Making her feel self-conscious will not only cancel her orgasm, you’ll be #cancelldt too. No woman will ever get tired of hearing how sexy and amazing she is in bed. You’ve been invited to her holy temple, so kneel and worship.
Everyone is different
What works on one girl might not work on another. While that means you can’t just replicate past successes by doing the same thing every time, it also means that past failures shouldn’t get you down.
The most fool-proof technique? Ask your girl what gets her off
The most fool-proof technique? Ask your girl what gets her off. Have her describe, in detail, what she likes and how she likes it. Dirty talk can be great foreplay-before-the-foreplay. Get into a little show and tell, and have her instruct you while you’re going down on her. Better yet, tell her to grab your hair and physically guide you to where she wants you to go.
Start slow
Jackhammering your way through penetrative sex never works, and it won’t work with oral either. Tease her and turn her on before you even get within an inch of her thighs. Kiss down her body, and linger in between her legs. When you finally do get down to business, work your way in gradually. Direct clitoral stimulation can be painful for some women, so take your damn time to build her up first. Start by licking the outer lips in broad strokes before slowly moving upwards towards the clitoris.
Experiment
At the start of your pussy-eating sesh, don’t be afraid to try different techniques. Use the flat part of your tongue to stimulate the different parts of her vagina. Go with whatever motion, pressure, and speed that feels right for her. The most important thing is to keep your tongue moving. But be careful about using the tip of your tongue to prod, poke, or flick—we’re sensitive creatures and that can hurt.
On days you’re feeling friskier, go for positions other than boring ol’ missionary
On days you’re feeling friskier, go for positions other than boring ol’ missionary. Try to prop up her pelvis with a pillow. Not only will it give you better access, it will produce a different sensation for her. If you’re both comfortable with it, have her sit on your face and ride you instead. She’ll be in control, making it easier for her to cum. And, hey, it’s a great view.
Pay attention
Is she pressing into your mouth or moving away from it? Is she groaning and grabbing sheets or is she just emitting an occasional apathetic noise that’s supposed to resemble moaning? If she seems bored, switch it up and try something else. But if she’s responding well—don’t. fucking. stop. Fight the temptation to go faster or harder—just maintain the same speed and pressure. There’s a reason she’s writhing in pleasure; keep consistent and she’ll be that much closer to orgasm.
Use your hands
Getting your whole body involved will make you seem much more enthusiastic and involved. Massage her thighs while you’re eating her out or reach up towards her breasts for some nipple stimulation. You can also use your hands to gently stretch her lips; this will give you a little more room to lick around but it will also feel amazing for her.
Some women can’t cum from clitoral stimulation alone. While you’re going to town on her clit, lube up your fingers and insert them into her vagina. If she’s into it, try to stimulate her G-spot as well by making a “come hither motion” with your fingers.
There is no right or wrong way to eating a girl out. Don’t forget to have fun! As long as you’re enthusiastic and willing to learn, you’re already halfway there to being a muff diving master.
By Trisha O’Bannon
Illustration by Jer Dee
