DEAR EMILY,

I’m 26 years old and my Chinese boyfriend and I have been in a relationship since 2004.  We broke up last year but we got back together this year.   He’s a businessman and he travels so much, he might as well live in the plane.

Each time I talk about marriage, he gets irritated.  I don’t know where I stand. Will he marry me or am I just in hanging on for nothing?

I’m trying to understand his situation because I love him dearly.  Sometimes he thinks that I am just after his money and possessions. But I already told him that I am willing to sign a prenuptial agreement in case we get married just to prove to him that I truly love him and not his money.

How can I change his mind about marriage? Before I told him that I wanted to have a baby with him and he said if I will get pregnant, we will get married. Am I doing the right thing?

I don’t want to wait forever. I feel I’m getting old already and want to have my own family. Should I stick to this kind of relationship or just end it, move on, and open my heart to others?

IRENE

Yes, why don’t you just move on?  How can you hold on to someone who clearly has no intention of marrying you and even has the audacity to suspect you of having a hidden agenda.  Show your boyfriend that you are not at all interested in his money.

And while you’re at it, offer to help him shovel all his goodies and other wordly possessions inside his future coffin for good measure!

Love, it makes you blind and crazy, it truly side-tracks a rational mind—yours included.   Don’t sell yourself short.  You may not know it, but sometimes it’s raining men—probably not in your neck of the woods—but in places you may stumble upon soon. One of them could even be the answer to your prayers.   Just open your mind to possibilities.

Stop being a clinging vine.  That’s the worst a woman can do to a man.  You might be even more attractive to him if he sees you as independent, secure, gutsy, a person his equal and therefore, a probable partner.  You’ll be seen in a better light as an asset than a blood sucker.

In the meantime, show this boyfriend of yours that you can do perfectly well without him.  He might take you more seriously when he sees how serious you are to move on without him.

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