Single or taken, Inquirer Theater got you covered this Valentine weekend. Ongoing shows include a kinky parody, a dystopian musical, a free dramatic reading and superhero musicals.

Walang forever? There’s always theater.

Shakespeare's “All’s Well That End’s Well,” presented by Assumption College’s theater group Metta, directed by Ana Valdes-Lim. PHOTO FROM METTA — Shakespeare’s “All’s Well That End’s Well,” presented by Assumption College’s theater group Metta, directed by Ana Valdes-Lim. PHOTO FROM METTA

‘All’s Well That Ends Well’ at Black Box, Assumption College San Lorenzo

Assumption College’s theater group Metta presents Shakespeare’s charming tale about love and desire among social classes, featuring four strong woman characters in a contemporized, theater-in-the-round production featuring pop music and dance, live syncopated drums and stringed instruments.

The cast includes guest artists Riki Benedicto, Gilbert Onida, Renante Bustamante and JV Katipunan, with Performing Arts students of Assumption. Director is Ana Valdes-Lim.

What to love: It’s Shakespeare played by a young, frisky cast—what’s not to love?

Schedule: Feb 13, 7 p.m.; Feb. 15, 16, 17, 19; Black Box, Assumption College, San Lorenzo Village, San Lorenzo Drive, Makati City.

Tickets: P400. Call 8942681, 0926-4994786.

9 Works Theatrical and Vivre Fort Entertainment’s “50 Shades! The Musical Parody” at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, RCBC Plaza, Makati City—no need to read the book or watch the movie, just be a good sport and enjoy. PHOTO FROM 9 WORKS THEATRICAL

‘50 Shades! The Musical Parody’ at RCBC

This campy musical parodies “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the mega popular “mommy porn” book that has spawned a movie adaptation. Three book-club titas pick “Fifty Shades” as their next reading, and get so inspired with the story of Anna and Christian that each of them starts fulfilling her own fantasies.

Watch the foreign cast in lingerie and spandex: Brenna Wahl, Greg Kata, Chloe Williamson, Kaitlyn Frotton, Chris Hodgson, Casey Renee Rogers and Isaac Saleh, with Filipino actors Bituin Escalante, Karel Marquez, Lorenz Martinez, George Schulze and Julz Savard. Director is Albert Samuels.

What to love: The musical is unapologetically raunchy, with hilarious songs such as “There’s a Hole Inside of Me” and “Any Other Couple.” Watch out for whips, handcuffs and a good deal of dirty talking. No need to read the book or watch the movie, just be a good sport and enjoy.

Schedule: Feb. 13—2, 5 and 8 p.m.; Feb. 17, 21, 24, 28; Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, 4/F, RCBC Plaza, Makati City.

Tickets: P1,500-P5,000 (VIP front row with meet and greet with the cast). Visit www.ticketworld.com.ph.

Joel Trinidad in 'Defending the Caveman' — Joel Trinidad in ‘Defending the Caveman’

‘Defending the Caveman’ at BGC

Watch Joel Trinidad explain—and defend—men and their annoying habits in the comedy “Defending the Caveman,” a monologue that explores the differences between men and women and how such affect their relationship.

Written by American actor and comedian Rob Becker, it is the longest-running solo stand-up show in Broadway and winner of the 2001 Laurence Olivier Award for Best Entertainment. The Manila show is directed by Cathy Azanza-Dy.

What to love: Men do the talking this time, and hopefully the women listen.

Schedule: Feb. 13, Life Yoga, Burgos Circle, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig City.

Tickets: P2,000. Call 2150788, 0917-5378313; visit www.ticketworld.com.ph.

Peta’s “3 Stars and a Sun,” directed by Nor Domingo and ongoing at the Peta Theater Center, QC. PHOTO FROM PETA

‘3 Stars and a Sun’ at Peta

Francis Magalona’s music headlines “3 Stars and a Sun,” a spunky rap-musical from the Philippine Educational Theater Association (Peta).

The dystopian story is set in Stormdome, a shelter that protects the surviving humans, divided into two cities: the shiny and powerful citizens of Lumino, and the scruffy Tropang Gising of Diliman.

Watch powerful performances from Nicco Manalo and Bodjie Pascua, with Paolo Valenciano, Gold Villar, Raffy Tejada, Che Ramos-Cosio, Carla Guevara-Laforteza, Giannina Ocampo, Justine Peña, Anna Luna, Jet Barrun, John Moran, Nar Cabico, Lee Villoria, EJ Pepito, Anj Heruela, Gab Pangilinan, Jef Flores, Norbs Portales.

Musical director is Myke Salomon; written by Mixkaela Villalon and Rody Vera; directed by Nor Domingo.

What to love: Francis M. songs done theater-style; there’s a Tagalog version of “Cold Summer Nights” translated by Cabico. The musical has postapocalyptic elements reminding us of “Star Wars” (Protektanod guards akin to Stormtroopers) and “Hunger Games” (Stormdome as Capitol).

Schedule: Feb. 13, 3 p.m. (0917-5183654) and 8 p.m. (0918-9425601); Feb. 14, 3 p.m. (0917-7799780), 8 p.m. (0922-8066912; 0927-9813587); “3 Stars and a Sun” runs until March 6 at Peta-Phinma Theater at 5 Eymard Drive, New Manila, Quezon City.

Tickets: P800-P1,800. Visit www.ticketworld.com.ph.

Dulaang UP's 'Tisoy Brown: Hari ng Wala' stars Neil Ryan Sese alternating with Paolo O'Hara. PHOTO FROM DULAANG UP — Dulaang UP’s ‘Tisoy Brown: Hari ng Wala’ stars Neil Ryan Sese alternating with Paolo O’Hara. PHOTO FROM DULAANG UP

‘Tisoy Brown: Hari ng Wala’ at UP Diliman

Dulaang UP is staging “Tisoy Brown: Hari ng Wala,” a Filipino adaptation by Rody Vera of the play “Peer Gynt” by Norwegian dramatist Henrik Ibsen.

Set in 1980s Olongapo, the play follows the adventures of Tisoy Brown, an Amerasian played by Neil Ryan Sese (alternating with Paolo O’Hara). With a Filipino mom and an American dad, Tisoy Brown grows up confused about his identity. He goes on a journey to discover himself, meeting a drug-dealing kapre and slave traders, among others, along the way.

Cast includes Peewee O’Hara, Delphine Buencamino, Melvin Lee, Skyzx Labastilla, Bong Cabrera, Wenah Nagales, Martha Comia, Tarek El Tayech, Francis Matheu, Brian Tibayan, Steven Conde, Arvin Trinidad, Eshei Mesina, Sheryll Ceasico, Paul Cedrick Juan. Director is José Estrella.

What to love: Vera incorporates Filipino folklore in the Nordic play and comes up with a rich tale.

Schedule: Feb. 13-14, 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. “Tisoy Brown” runs until Feb. 28 at Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theater, 2/F Palma Hall, University of the Philippines Diliman, Quezon City.

Tickets: P500 each. Call 9261349, 4337840.

‘Buwan at Baril’ reading at CCP

Listen to John Arcilla (of the breakthrough film “Heneral Luna”) read lines from “Buwan at Baril,” a play written by Cultural Center of the Philippines artistic director Chris Millado. The play, originally staged by Peryante and Peta in the ’80s, tackles the oppressed lives of Filipino farmers, laborers, priests, student activists and rebels and their fight against the Marcos dictatorship.

Other readers are Aldo Vencilao, Lhorvie Nuevo, JV Ibesate, Tad Tadioan, Marco Viana, Toni Go, Doray Dayao, with violinist Merjohn Lagaya. “Buwan at Baril” is presented by Tanghalang Pilipino’s Actors Company.

What to love: Entrance is free! But voluntary donation is welcome. “Buwan at Baril” is political material, which is timely for the coming elections.

Schedule: Feb. 14, 2-4 p.m, CCP Bulwagang Amado V. Hernandez. Call 8321125 loc. 1620 or 1621 for reservations.

‘Super Nerda’ at UST

Geeky girl Verna mysteriously gets magical underwear that transforms her into Super Nerda when she wears it. A newbie superhero, she gets the hang of saving people’s lives through the help of her elder mentor Mamshie—and her magic panties.

Mediartrix, the musical theater organization of the University of Santo Tomas, presents this musical comedy written by Kane Errol Choa and directed by Jan Kristoffer Enriquez.

Mediartrix alumna Lhen Hasal plays “Super Nerda.” Cast includes Anjo Soriano, Gladys Pagdato, Chris Azarraga, Rafael Fadriga, Euri Camus, Stephanie Dela Torre Raquel, Nicole Evangelista, April Verona, Angelica Alonzo, Jaz Villa, Eco Dela Sala, Paulo Caparas, Daniel Sagun, Marty Agustin, Marcus Banag, Wilda Atienza, Christian Calungsod, G Lampa, Mavic Ampil, Bianca Ballesteros.

Schedule: Feb. 13; 2, 5, 6, 9 p.m., at UST Albertus Magnus Auditorium.

Tickets: P100. Call 0917-5914088 or 0917-3461445.

‘Xander Returns: Musikal na Pangkalawakan’ at UA&P

At University of Asia and the Pacific, Dulaang Rock Opera Company stages “Xander Returns: Musikal na Pangkalawakan,” a musical inspired by the ’90s live-action Japanese classic “Shaider.”

Alexis is the Pulis Pangkalawakan general who transforms into galactic superhero Xander. He and other space sheriffs fight off Papi Ley-ar, the evil Fuchsia leaders Ida and Drigo, and the Amasonas to save the galaxy—with the help of his lady love Annie.

“Xander Returns” is a sequel to “Codename: Xander,” which was staged in UA&P last year; both are written by director Christian Vallez.

Schedule: Feb. 13, 7 p.m., at Dizon Auditorium of UA&P, Pearl Drive, Pasig City.

Tickets: P550; P250 for students, P200 for scholars. Call Tanya Zialcita at 0915-8129984; e-mail [email protected]; visit https://dulaangroc.yapsody.com.

‘Dog Sees God’ at Fringe Manila

“Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead” is an unauthorized parody that reimagines Peanuts comic-book characters as troubled teenagers dealing with drug use, sexual abuse, suicide, eating disorders, teen violence, rebellion and identity issues.

Written by Bert V. Royal, it is presented by Twin Bill Theater as part of Fringe Manila arts festival.

Cast includes Nel Gomez, Brian Sy, Vince Lim, Maronne Cruz, Gab Medina, Kathleen Francisco, Camille Velicaria and Sarah Facuri. Steven Conde directs.

Schedule: Feb. 14, 2:30, 8 p.m., Staple and Perk, 2306 Eco Plaza Bldg. Chino Roces Ext., Makati City.

Tickets: P800. Call 0927-4604652.