She’s steering clear of a toxic coworker | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

Dear Emily,


I have an officemate known in the office as kind, helpful and generous. Not everybody knows the real story.


She’s fond of gossip that has caused intrigue among her coworkers. I was one of her victims when she invented a story about me. She probably thought it was okay, as she didn’t apologize. I hate confrontations, so I let it pass.


Once an officemate talked about how she hated her boss. She was planning to send an anonymous letter to top management to expose this boss’ illegal activities.  This “helpful” friend offered to write the letter.


A few weeks later, I was called by management and asked if there was any truth to the exposé. I was mentioned as a victim of sexual harassment by said manager. It was not true, so I said no.  They asked if I knew who sent the anonymous letter.  Not wanting to get this “helpful friend” in trouble, I said no. A few months later, the manager was terminated.


She’s still causing trouble without people attributing them to her. I’m steering clear of this officemate. I don’t want to become a victim again of one of her malicious schemes.




Can’t blame you—she seems toxic! With all apologies to the reptile class (a very important player in the balance of the ecosystem), this snake in your office has malice in her soul, and is bad news.


Steer clear of her in the time you haven’t yet unmasked her nastiness. Delete her mobile number from your directory. Get out of a queue if you find yourself in one with her accidentally. Take the stairs if you see her waiting for the same elevator. Hold your breath when you pass her, as the air she’s exhaling might be contagious. Bottom line: Avoid her at all costs, as though your life depended on it.


Ordinary folk with no hidden agenda strive for peace, honesty, happiness and friendship throughout their lives. This woman apparently thrives on mischief, malice and fear, and relishes the adrenaline rush in her system when making others miserable. She must be so disgruntled with her own lot that seeing others happy is a bewilderment to her.


But what she’s doing is not right. Being a bully is sick.  There must be something troubling her that’s making her design menacing schemes in her brain. A therapist would love to pick her brain and see what’s eating her. Is she even in a relationship? If not, a loner then? Is she in pain that nobody’s aware of? Does she have a disjointed family she hates? Or friends who have abandoned her? Has she ever talked about her wishes if she had a choice?


If there is no manifestation of either pain or contentment in her, it’ll be difficult getting into her psyche, casually.


Just wish her well in your heart. Hope that whatever wickedness is still lurking in her soul be healed and turned into goodness with your prayers. It’s never too late to storm the heavens to ask for guidance in wanting to make sense of her.




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