Emily’s Post
By Emily Marcelo
Dear Emily,
My parents separated 35 years ago, and my father remarried and lived in the US. Our mom chose to stay with our eldest sister, who never married.
When our father asked this sister to sell his condo for him, she did, but she also bought a condo with the sale money and put it in her name. My father had a lot of ailments then and pleaded with her to give him the condo, or return his money. But it fell on deaf ears.
She never explained her actions or asked for forgiveness from him, until he passed away. We all went to the US to bury him, except this sister—who went on a tour of Europe instead!
Since our mom lived with her, we chose not to fight with her. When my mom got sick, we asked that sister to sell the condo she bought with Dad’s money, to pay her medical expenses. After much arguing, she said she would.
Then, we siblings had a meeting to take inventory of our mother’s cash, jewelry and whatever else was there. To our surprise, this sister said mom had given her everything already. When our parents split up 30 years ago, mom got the house but sold it and kept the money in the bank.
Then mom developed dementia, so it was pointless asking her anything about it. This eldest sister wouldn’t even allow us to go inside mom’s room!
Lest you think my sister is destitute, she is an architect by profession and a real estate agent. She has a comfortable life.
Mom was the link that kept us together, but now that she’s gone, I don’t feel any compelling need to see that sister. If I see her, all I will be seeing is greed. As my dad sadly asked her then, “How… why did you become like this?” — Youngest in the brood.
Answer:
Truth is absolutely stranger than fiction.
From your narrative, your sister’s greed looked like a bottomless pit. Unmarried and greedy—what a deadly combination! Do you think she will install a safety deposit box along with a bell she can ring inside her coffin—when she’s finally willing to share her loot with her family? After all, there’s a rumor that nothing stays the same in hell and everything burns, gold and cash included!
Yes, how did she become what she has become? Was she a deprived child? Or, in being the eldest, did she naturally develop the habit of having everything her way with no concept of what sharing means?
Seems she has this insatiable hunger that can’t be sated, and she grabbed whatever was for the taking, with the least resistance to her.
Yet, you were all her enablers, because nobody among her siblings questioned her thievery that could have put shame in her psyche. All of you quietly accepted her dishonesty, and this strengthened her vileness over the years.
It’s too late now to teach this old dog new tricks in the virtues department. But don’t lose heart. Be consoled with the knowledge that the world never stops turning. What goes around, really comes around.
