Dear Emily,

I am a 39-year-old bachelor with no plans of getting married. I am not gay, in case you’re wondering. It’s just not my lifestyle. I like women, going out on dates with them or vacationing with a special one in nice romantic places.

However, being that well-trained son of neat parents, I can’t seem to like living with women for long periods of time—seeing piles of their unattended laundry, or not taking a turn washing dishes in the sink, or seeing my stuff, like books and collectibles, strewn around with no inclination to put them in order. It becomes a deal-breaker.

I have a good job; I’m tall, and look good enough to have modeled before. I also have a small inheritance I can fall back on later. I am not worried about growing old alone despite the warning of friends. Most of my colleagues tease me constantly and hook me up with women they think will steal my heart.

Sometimes it happens—for a while—but it fizzles out eventually. There must be something more beneficial to life than having a girlfriend or starting a family. I am still on the lookout for what it is.

SOLITARY MAN

Absolutely! Some are made to have families and some are not. Just look at those who’ve entered matrimony and are already on their second or third families. Is that fulfillment? Don’t succumb to peer pressure on this crucial decision—just because!

Since you have some money to fall back on, there are many areas you can enter for a satisfying endeavor. Consider joining an NGO, here or abroad. Not many can go into it with their heart and soul because of financial constraints, but you, obviously, can.

There is Greenpeace for the environment; be a humanitarian with Doctors without Borders, which go into war-torn countries, or join the local Gawad Kalinga that builds houses for the poor.

If it won’t burn a hole in your pocket, start a soup kitchen on weekends in truly heart-wrenching areas. Or volunteer to teach kids who are not in school who’d otherwise fall prey to traffickers.

There is a plethora of ways to feel fulfilled. Focus is the operative word here, and willingness is the engine to try new things.

Marriage is not always the answer to the dilemma of an eligible unmarried person. Sometimes, it just takes a sensitivity to your surroundings to wake up your soul.

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