Sunday, September 23, 2018
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Emily’s Post

In love with her brother-in-law

By: - Columnist
/ 05:34 AM September 24, 2017

Dear Emily,

I’ve been married 15 years and have one son. I woke up one morning with this renewed love for my brother-in-law, my husband’s older brother.


I’ve actually had this feeling since we—he, my now-husband and I—were all friends in college. Had he courted me first, my answer would have been a big yes. But, it was his younger brother who captured my heart.

My married life has gone through a lot of ups and down, and my brother-in-law has always been there to support us. He even bears a great resemblance to our son.

I’ve told him how I’ve loved him ever since, and his only reply was, “lovers always part ways but true friends stay in love forever.” I don’t know what he meant. He is happily married now and he knows I still love him.

I pray one day my feelings for him will turn to love between a brother and a sister.


While this brother-in-law is now happily married, you’re still stuck in the past, miserable and wallowing in thoughts of him and the what-could-have-been. Isn’t that depressing? Can’t you shift that gear to reverse and move on with your life? Let sleeping dogs lie.

Had he felt the same toward you, this conversation would not be happening at all. He loved his brother deeply enough to subsume whatever feelings (granting) he had for you. The moment he saw the choice you made in marrying his brother, the question of a future with you went up in smoke. There was no way he would cause the unhappiness of his brother, or compromise relationships in the family.

He showed his maturity, high integrity and steadfast loyalty to your husband. Accept the brotherly love he gives you with no strings attached. Trust in his judgment and be secure at how he will always protect you—his family.

Try not to rock the boat more, however forthrightly you’ve been. You know you’re the only actor in this scenario. Find your own happiness within yourself—and in your quest, not to bring grief to others.


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