‘I thought there was going to be more time’ | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

Cory aquino
Cory Aquino, in a photograph taken from the author’s Facebook page

The author wrote this on his Facebook last Aug. 1 to mark the ninth death anniversary of former President Cory Aquino, his aunt. We’re running it with his permission.

 

As we commemorate the ninth anniversary of Auntie Cory’s passing, I couldn’t help but look back on the past and reminisce the most memorable moments I had with her. There were really many such memories, which I have shared with relatives and friends already. So I paused to recall others that I may have overlooked which I knew someday will be relevant as I continue my life’s journey.

 

It was mid June 2009. Ate Ballsy (Cruz, the eldest daughter of Ms Aquino) had shared with me the sad news that the cancer cells were no longer neutralized by chemotherapy and the other interventions tried by her doctors. Auntie Cory had already lost her appetite and was no longer eating enough. She had lost so much weight and was very pale and weak.

 

I remember how Dr. Alex Ayco went to the office that day with a nurse who brought a bottle of dextrose so that she could at least be given some nourishment by IV. Ate Ballsy and I took turns accompanying her while she was seated in a recliner chair in the yellow conference room beside her office. We chatted about many topics to preoccupy ourselves while the fluids in the dextrose bottle dripped ever so slowly.

 

In one moment of silence, she suddenly remarked, “I thought there was going to be more time.” Then she rested her left cheek on her clenched fist, closed her eyes and fell asleep.

 

Amid the silence, I saw a very weary woman who a few months before that day was still attending prayer and street rallies to protest corruption in the the Arroyo administration. I saw the mother of Philippine Democracy, who once led the resistance that ended the reign of a corrupt dictator, literally shrinking.

 

As I recall that day, I cannot help but think what she meant by wanting more time. Was she thinking about some items on her bucket list that she had not done? Was she thinking of things she still wanted to do, given the unfortunate events happening in the country then? Or was she regretting that she had not spent enough time with her family?

 

I can only venture a guess.

 

Maybe she did have some bucket list items that she wished she could have done. However, she really had no chance since she chose to spend the most productive years of her life as the wife of a politician and a political detainee of seven years and seven months.

 

Then, as fate would have it, she became the widow of a martyred opposition leader, an accidental leader of the opposition, a reluctant presidential candidate, and eventually the President who restored democracy in a country ruined by over a decade of repression and corruption under the Marcos authoritarian rule.

 

Maybe she was still thinking of what else she could do to address the problems besetting the country then. After all, she could have quietly retired and been a doting grandmother to her grandchildren after her term in office. But whenever democracy and our people’s freedom were threatened, she chose to step out of her quiet private life to join our people on the streets to push back against leaders who think that the salvation of our country is solely in their hands.

 

She told us time and again that the complex problems of our country could not be solved by one woman or man alone. It was very clear to her that she came to power because of the people and that such power must be shared with them.

 

Maybe, she was also thinking that she really wished she had more quality time with her children and grandchildren. The happy times in Boston probably flashed in her memory, and how she wished she was given more time to make more such fun memories.

 

But like on that fateful day of Aug. 21, 1983, events and circumstances were beyond her control. She surrendered freely to the call of the times and responded with great love not only to a loving husband, but also to an orphaned people who lost a leader who  surrendered his life to fight for their freedom against an oppressive regime.

 

Just venturing a guess as to what was going on in her mind and heart then, I can’t help but wish that more time had been given her so that she could fulfill her heart’s desires, be with her people to fight another day, or to create more happy memories with her family. Then again, we really are not in control of our time here on earth.

 

We can only look back on the life of this woman in yellow, and be inspired by her fidelity to her discerned mission, and once again be touched by her unconditional loving response for each one of us.

 

I can only console myself knowing that in the safe place she is in, she had a full view of the outpouring of love and affection of a grateful nation and people during her wake and funeral, where hundreds of thousands of people queued for at least seven hours under the scorching sun and pouring rain to say their heartfelt goodbyes to her, even if just for a few seconds.

 

Today, it is quite unfortunate that our country faces similar challenges and trials to the ones this woman courageously faced during her life’s journey. The same ugly face of repression and corruption, that robs many of our people of their freedom and basic human rights without their even realizing it, has come back with a vengeance. Like Cory Aquino then, we are again called to make brave and loving choices to fight the good fight.

 

I recall that day and count the blessing that I still have more time. –CONTRIBUTED

 

 

 

 

 

 

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