Dear Emily,

Ten years ago, I married a woman in the Philippines after meeting her on an online dating site. She was from a poor family but had a job working for a politician in her province. I got her a spouse’s visa for the United Kingdom. Later, I built us a four-bedroom house in her province.

After three years working as a care assistant in the United Kingdom, she started dating men on a Filipino dating site. She also started telling me lies.

She now has her family squatting in the house I built and most of the stuff I bought and accumulated for the house has gone missing.

I know of many other expats who have similar stories to tell. My advice is to be very careful and to never buy property because it will never be yours to own. Also, be well aware that her family comes first, not you, her husband.—STEVE

You got very unlucky in your roll of the dice with this woman you married. It can happen to any nationality, anywhere in the world, anytime.

“Buyer beware” cuts across all lines, including in matrimony. Participants in this venture should have the patience and foresight to gauge the person they’re choosing—and though easier said than done, not allow their hormones to rule over them blindly.

You were in love. You thought you died and went to heaven when you laid eyes on her. Then you both woke up!

Cut the poor relations some slack. It’s difficult to comprehend being needy when you’ve not been that poor as your wife’s family.

Since you left the house unoccupied to live in the United Kingdom, why shouldn’t they take cover under the nice roof you’ve provided and live like decent human beings for a change? When you come back to this country, you can certainly take possession of it again. If not, you can always use the protection of the laws in this country. We may be poor, but we still respect laws.

It should not feel like the end of the world for you. All those you lost can be replaced. Your pride was bruised and wounded, but it will recover.

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