Based on my interviews and research, it apparently takes a 30-year-old woman a year to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight and figure. High-risk pregnancy cases which require bed rest may end up gaining 40 to 90 pounds. Some may get back their weight sooner, but the body is just not the same.

Of course, we all know such cases as Angelina Jolie, who can wear a bikini and look fabulous after giving birth to twins, but these are very lucky people. Being compared to them may be unnecessary stress to others trying to recover their former figures.

There are now machines that help celebrities, models and flight attendants get their bodies back in 90 days without surgery when combined with basic diet and moderate exercise of an hour a day. But please consult your doctor if you are allowed to try the following procedures.

Below are the terrific painless trio that rupture fat cells and burn fat. They tighten the skin so circumference shrinks with no loose skin from sudden fat loss. They also firm muscles on several areas of the body simultaneously.

1. Cavitation—uses sound waves to rupture fat cells and liquify stubborn fat so they may be drained by the lymphatic system. Depending on how fatty the area is, the doctor will advise treatment once or twice a week. Frequent cavitation too close to the bone may cause softening of bone tissue so only the obese are advised twice a week or more. Its fat burning probably equals six hours of high-impact aerobics a day.

2. Radiofrequency/Tripolar—Too abrupt weight loss causes loose sagging skin and stretch marks. This ensures that your skin contracts while you are losing weight so there will be no loose pouches of skin and circumference measurement is smaller as well. There is also some fat-burning and draining involved here.

3. E-max, TENS, Bio Sculpt—Uses electrical currents to stimulate muscle contractions, building and toning so body parts can actually defy gravity and continue burning fat even at rest via their muscles.

For a 45-minute session, you achieve the equivalent of as much as 300-500 crunches, squats and lunges, arm curls simultaneously while lying flat on your back! All correctly done in the right form and timing.

Do you have any idea how long it would take to do that in a gym? Try 24 hours without sleeping. Steps two and three can be done up to three times a week.

Places celebrities go: Marie France 8942693, Belo 8192356, Skin Specialist QC 3748087; Mariko Tokyo Makati 5532394, GH 7259406; Aesthetic Science 8993643, Allura QC 3527876.

Hidden places: Nouvelle Clinic (3775188) at Cocoon Hotel in Timog was where I hid last time so people could not see how heavy I got post-holidays. Some acquaintances of mine have procedures done then book themselves at the very European-style hotel for the weekend where it is guaranteed they won’t run into any gossips. They tell everyone they are out of the country and pretend to come back rejuvenated. They pay introductory prices for use of state-of-the-art equipment so treatments are very reasonable bordering on cheap. I lost as much as 5 cm off my lower hips after the first session, and 3 cm everywhere else.