“Acceptance means events can make it through you without resistance.”—Michael A. Singer, “The Untethered Soul”
There are seven emotional stages of grief after a breakup: shock/disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and then acceptance/hope. In my healing journey, I believe I am at the gateway of acceptance but I am still constantly looking back for remnants of “two-getherness.”
The self-help book I am reading, “The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” by New York Times bestselling author Michael A. Singer, is perfect for this point in my journey. It has inspired me to untie myself from my ego, negative emotions and everything that stops me from being my true self.
The book shares insights on how to harness your inner energy, expand beyond yourself, and reinvent your inner peace and happiness. Thanks to Singer’s teachings, I am more focused on my inner space and the circumstances around me. If you change your thoughts, you can achieve greatness with all the positivity around you.
According to Singer, change is part of life because things will change whether you like it or not. We will never be able to truly control life and by not accepting this, we may never fully live. Keeping an objective outlook on problems is the only way to attain true inner freedom. We must learn from our experiences to understand and enjoy the purpose of our life.
Dealing with change
One of the best ways to deal with change is to accept it by realizing that it leads to personal growth. If you resist change, you’ll never live fully because you’ll always worry about the next unexpected issue arriving or about the possibility of change in the future. It is necessary to free yourself from the habitual thoughts, emotions and energy patterns that limit your consciousness. With perfect clarity, this book opens the door to a life lived in the freedom of your innermost being.
Singer had a deep inner awakening in 1971 while working on his doctorate in economics and went into seclusion to focus on yoga and meditation.
In 1975, he founded Temple of the Universe, a now long-established yoga and meditation center where people of any religion or set of beliefs can come together to experience inner peace. By tapping into traditions of meditation and mindfulness, spiritual teacher Singer shows how the development of consciousness can enable us all to dwell in the present moment and let go of painful thoughts and memories that keep us from achieving happiness and self-realization.
As a Virgo, I have a tendency to overanalyze. With all the different kinds of therapy and self-help books I have read, I am able to dissect all the elements of the past to figure out the way to the future. However, by clinging to the past and refusing to emotionally detach and charter new options, I have stopped from finding the true freedom that I need.
The mind is full of habitual patterns that inform reality. Working with these lessons from the book, I am able to gain a transformational shift in my perception. It has helped me discover another level of surrendering. It has led me in a new direction in life organically and brought a level of joy, peace and happiness. sSinger writes about the importance of deciding to be happy regardless of what happens.
Jumping out of my comfort zone
From my sessions with life coach Eileen Juan, I learned the need to jump out of my comfort zone and keep my heart open to the path of unconditional happiness. Soaring beyond my old comfortable boundaries, I learned to navigate my thoughts and emotions to find inner peace and everlasting freedom.
Between all the stages of grief after a breakup, I have yet to fully embrace forgiveness. The highest spiritual leader of our Catholic faith Pope Francis says, “Forgiveness is not the fruit of our own efforts but rather a gift, it is a gift of the Holy Spirit who fills us with the wellspring of mercy and of grace that flows unceasingly from the open heart of the Crucified and Risen Christ.”
At this point, everything is a source of inspiration or a sign from God!
Even at the movies, I learn a lesson. Thanks to Swatch grand dame Virgie Ramos, I was able to watch a private screening of “Top Gun: Maverick” at S Maison Conrad Hotel. The 40-seater Director’s Cinema was totally disinfected for just eight of us. At the screen where Maverick and Ice were conversing, Ice types on his laptop: “It’s time to let go!” And looking at how amazing Tom Cruise looks after decades, I know how exciting life could still be.
I have embraced my continuous role as a full-time mom. Last weekend was the Beacon Academy junior-senior prom of my daughter Athena Valdes who is currently in the States with her dad on college tours. I was so delighted that Athena won Best Dressed wearing my glittery gown by fave designer Cherry Veric. The stunning gown was perfect for the Hollywood theme of the prom.
Cherry and I celebrated at Pride Night at Alibi Lounge & Bar (@alibiloungemla on Instagram) at Crimson Hotel in Filinvest City, Alabang. The newest secret bar on that side of town serves the classiest drinks and has a clandestine charm.
For Pride month, they have DJ Mike Lavarez spinning the best dance hits. The secret access to Alibi is restricted to those who know the password.
As we celebrate our Independence Day today, I think about my personal freedom and Filipino pride. I am proud to own one of the artworks of Carlo Tanseco—a painting of our national hero Jose Rizal.
Carlo has another ongoing exhibit until June 14. His visions of favorite cult classic novels are exhibited at Modeka Creative Space (Modeka Art) along Don Chino Roces Avenue, Makati City.
Carlo believes a major reason his Rizal Matchbox series, which depicted the familiar matchbox with our national hero’s iconic image on the front, was received positively was the three-dimensionality of each painting’s design.
“This inspired me to do yet another three-dimensional wall piece, but this time they would be novels and books,” he says.
His signature juxtaposing of a character on clean lines and patterns, reflective of his own mixed interests and unique combination of architecture discipline and free imagination, will also be prime features in this new collection. INQ