Dear Emily,

I recently married a foreigner who has gone back abroad while I wait for my visa approval. He sends me a monthly allowance to pay for bills like utilities, food, etc. I am not employed now. I didn’t have much education and could only find work as a saleslady before we met.

My problem is my sister. She knows that my husband gives my mother a small allowance, too, and she wants him to do the same for her and her daughter who is now in college. I am too embarrassed to mention that request to him because he is working multiple jobs just to support me, my mother and himself!

My sister has started calling me and my husband names such as greedy, selfish, heartless. She has even accused me of being the villain in their lives. I have barely enough for our basic necessities. But she talks too much and her words hurt me.—Korin

What disabilities does she have that is preventing her from finding work to keep body and soul together? Or is her ailment simply called laziness?

Is your sister a single mother? That’s not even a reason not to find a job. If you were a salesgirl once, she can apply as one herself!

Sure, you married a foreigner. Tell her the realities of life and learn how badly many Americans live in America these days! Being white does not equate with wealth!

And badmouthing you while asking for a dole-out? How is that for gaining even an iota of sympathy with her lot! It’s not as though she’s in dire need of medical help.

Ignore her! As long as she doesn’t do anything harmful to you like tripping you, or uses a bullhorn to talk to you, pretend she’s not there, or, let it go in one ear and out the other. Wake her up to reality. Nobody promised her a rose garden. Your husband certainly didn’t!

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