Quantcast
Latest Stories

Emily’s Post

She supports a ‘reliable and nice’–but jobless–boyfriend

By

DEAR EMILY,

I’ve had this boyfriend of three years whom my parents don’t approve of. His family is poor, as his parents don’t have a regular source of income. He himself doesn’t have a stable job.

I have been helping him financially for two years now—something my parents don’t know about.

My mom always finds a reason to start a fight with me every time his name is brought up. I’m getting tired of it.

I agreed to this relationship because I know he is the only one who would love me truly and sincerely, even though I don’t really love him. I thought I’d learn from him eventually, but that didn’t happen.

I planned to break up with him two years ago, but I couldn’t because of pity. He would have been devastated.  He also owes me money. I thought he could pay me back once he had a job, but his loans just kept on piling up instead.

He is a very reliable and nice boyfriend. I can’t ask for anyone better. He is always there for me, but I just don’t love him anymore.

I’m just scared that I won’t be able to meet a guy I can love who is as sincere as my boyfriend. So I’m settling for him until that guy comes along. I know it’s wrong, but that’s how I feel.

SCARED GIRL

Don’t you think your relationship with this man is all for the wrong reasons?

Supporting a man because he is nice or sincere—and because no one will love you as much—is kind of pathetic. How do you know that? Have you even declared yourself available by meeting new friends or possible suitors?

How long can you keep this money train, knowing he may never be able to pay you back? This man you pity so much cannot even hold a job!

Take stock of your life and listen to your mother. She has only your best intentions at heart. You know she’s right! Who else will help you when all else fails?

And since you don’t love this guy anyway, couldn’t you donate your hard-earned money to an orphanage or a halfway house for battered women?

Divert your attention to well-deserved causes—to those who really need help. It’s such a waste throwing good money, especially to a healthy man who seems not to know where he’s going.

Stop deluding yourself that you’re helping your boyfriend—because you’re not. You’re not an NGO.

Propping him up every time he wobbles financially is not giving him the right incentive to get out of this rut he’s in.

You’re being cruel this way knowing that you will leave him sooner than later. One day he’ll just find out that you’ve left him, with not so much as a forwarding address.

Be totally honest and tell him how you feel. Break down those emotional barriers while there’s still time. Prolonging this agony will not do anybody good.

Chop off and rid yourself of that which is rotting in your life. This relationship might grow into a disease that could metastasize and bring you down with it.

E-mail lifestyle@inquirer.com.ph, emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com


Follow Us


Follow us on Facebook Follow on Twitter Follow on Twitter


Recent Stories:

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Tags: bad relationships , financially-dependent boyfriend , Relationships

  • Friendly_Skies

    ….there is a world out there waiting for you….get a life!

  • hello stupids

    He is a pimp easy to tell

    • txtman SUPOTiful Bading

      TAMA!

      AM SURE HER BOYFRIEND IS NOW SAYING

      “PlMPlN’ AINT EEZEE”

  • Mayu04

    paano darating ang “bago” kung meron ka pa? … bakit ka may back up kung nangangarap ka na meron mas magandang darating? … it seems you are getting ready for failure … alisin mo ang linta sa tabi mo … hayaan mo syang maging “devastated” sa break up ninyo … 5 boteng san mig lang yan, limot ka na nyan

    gusto mong subukan? wag mong pautangin, mga 3 beses mong gawin yun … makikita mo ang tunay na ugali niya… at malalaman mo ang pagiging attentive nyan ay palabas lamang

    O baka naman takot kang mawalan ng bf sa tabi mo? marami jan ija … naghihintay lang na “malibre” ka … go on… break up with him

  • Mr_Ben

    Well of course, being nice should be not everything you need. Let’s be realistic. In this world, you still need to live by working and earning. Being nice to your partner is another things. both things should come side by side.

  • Bidoyski

    He is a nice boyfriend because you are giving him financial support. But, once you have nothing to give I beat he will leave you. That’s one hell of a lazy boyfriend to be honest.

  • pening_garcia

    langya lumang modus na yan…ginawa ko na yan nuong estudyante pa ako. lahat ng gerlpren ko ay inuutangan ko at nakakan thought ko pa. tsalap!!!

  • WeAry_Bat

    Sabihin mo sa guy na actually wala kang feeling, you just needed a warm body to look normal, hindi ma-left out sa barkada and friends na mey BF, pero ikaw wala. Para hindi ma-insecure sa tingin ng mga tao. Ang laki ng insecurities mo, inday.

    Mahal mag-alaga ng manok na hindi mo ipapang-itlog ano? What will you have left to give when your someone comes?

    What if, what if those someones won’t come near you because you have BF?

  • txtman SUPOTiful Bading

    PARANG TUMAMA NG LOTTO ANG BOYFRIEND NITO

    • hello stupids

      not really because I don’t think she look gorgeous and on drugs too

      that’s why she can’t walk away from him

  • Yobhtron

    So young to be a sugar mommy!

    I pity you. Dump the parasite and move on with your life.



Copyright © 2014, .
To subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines, call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk. Believe this article violates journalistic ethics? Contact the Inquirer's Reader's Advocate. Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o Philippine Daily Inquirer Chino Roces Avenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
Advertisement
  1. How to enjoy Buntod
  2. World bids Gabriel Garcia Marquez ‘Adios’
  3. How Zsa Zsa Padilla found Conrad Onglao; Sharon Cuneta played Cupid
  4. ‘Wild West’ Masbate’s pristine marine gems
  5. Kim Atienza: At home with art and design
  6. How Margie Moran-Floirendo keeps her dancer’s body
  7. Life lessons I want to teach my son
  8. Garcia Marquez left unpublished manuscript
  9. Historic Fort Bonifacio tunnel converted into a septic tank
  10. Wanted: Beauty queen with a heart that beats for the environment
  1. How Zsa Zsa Padilla found Conrad Onglao; Sharon Cuneta played Cupid
  2. Are your favorite malls open this Holy Week break?
  3. Historic Fort Bonifacio tunnel converted into a septic tank
  4. ‘Labahita a la bacalao’
  5. Miss America: Don’t suspend teen over prom invite
  6. How Margie Moran-Floirendo keeps her dancer’s body
  7. This is not just a farm
  8. President Quezon was born here–and so was Philippine surfing
  9. Levine designs womenswear with help from fiancee
  10. Clams and garlic, softshell crab risotto–not your usual seafood fare for Holy Week
  1. How Zsa Zsa Padilla found Conrad Onglao; Sharon Cuneta played Cupid
  2. Mary Jean Lastimosa is new Miss Universe Philippines
  3. Did Angara ruin Pia Wurtzbach’s chances at Bb. Pilipinas?
  4. Dominique–Gretchen and Tonyboy Cojuangco’s daughter–now an endorser
  5. Vinegar test helpful vs cervical cancer
  6. From Jeannie to mom of suicide victim
  7. San Vicente beaches hidden but not for long
  8. Borgy and Georgina are back; others are off–again
  9. Why is the lifestyle set now afraid to wear jewelry–before Kim Henares?
  10. Sen. Angara: I thought Pia Wurtzbach gave a good answer

News

  • What Went Before: Malacañang allies alleged involvement in pork scam
  • Timeline: Napoles tell-all
  • 12 senators on Napoles ‘pork’ list, says Lacson
  • Napoles surgery in Makati hospital successful
  • Save the queen? Aide takes fall for Enrile, Gigi Reyes
  • Sports

  • Mixers trim Aces; Painters repulse Bolts
  • Donaire junks Garcia as coach, taps father
  • ’Bye Ginebra: No heavy heart this time
  • UAAP board tackles new rules
  • Baguio climb to decide Le Tour de Filipinas
  • Lifestyle

  • The best flavors of summer in one bite, and more
  • Homemade yogurt, bread blended with pizza, even ramen
  • Visiting chefs from Denmark get creative with ‘ube,’ ‘ buko,’ ‘calamansi,’ mangoes
  • Salted baked potatoes
  • A first in a mall: Authentic Greek yogurt–made fresh in front of diners
  • Entertainment

  • Return of ‘Ibong Adarna’
  • Practical Phytos plans his future
  • In love … with acting
  • From prison to the peak of success
  • ‘Asedillo’ location thrives
  • Business

  • This time, BIR goes after florists
  • Philippine Airlines to stop shipment of shark fins
  • PH banks not ready for Asean integration
  • Stocks down on profit-taking
  • Banks allowed to use ‘cloud’
  • Technology

  • ‘Unlimited’ Internet promos not really limitless; lawmakers call for probe
  • Viber releases new design for iPhone, comes to Blackberry 10 for the first time
  • Engineers create a world of difference
  • Bam Aquino becomes Master Splinter’s son after Wiki hack
  • Mark Caguioa lambasts Ginebra teammates on Twitter
  • Opinion

  • Editorial cartoon, April 24, 2014
  • Talking to Janet
  • Respite
  • Bucket list
  • JPII in 1981: walking a tightrope
  • Global Nation

  • PH seeks ‘clearer assurance’ from US
  • China and rivals sign naval pact to ease maritime tensions
  • What Went Before: Manila bus hostage crisis
  • Obama arrives in Tokyo, first stop of 4-nation tour
  • Believe it or not: Filipinos love US more than Yanks
    Marketplace