DEAR EMILY,

 

I am newly wed to an American and we are in a long-distance relationship and living with my parents and sister. All the financial obligations are borne by my husband.

 

My father, who is 59 and has no ailment, is unemployed. His reasoning is he’s old and it’s hard for him to get a job. That’s the same case with my 24-year-old sister. She has no interest to look for work because she said she has no work experience at all. I look in the classifieds for her and push her to go out for interviews, to no avail.

 

I don’t want my marriage to suffer with all these financial sacrifices because it’s too much responsibility for me and my husband. It’s so frustrating to talk to my family about this matter, so I just cry. My husband, who’s been on my side since day one, is really supportive and understanding, but can now feel the pressure financially and emotionally.

 

We want to move out to teach my family a lesson. I feel torn between my marriage and my family. What is my financial obligation to my family? And how much is too much?

—Anne

 

 

Let’s see now. Did you make it crystal clear to your family that your marriage to this American man is not the same as winning the lotto? Did they truly understand the difference?

 

What made your father and sister think your husband is Santa Claus incarnate and their stairway to heaven? In what legal document did they get the notion to vault into this parasitic life when obviously there’s no physical disability between them!

 

With ages 59 and 24, whose twisted mind told them to stop being productive and take it for granted that they’d be, without question, supported by your husband? And pardon the question, but what is old? Isn’t old a decaying 59-year-old man and a useless 24-year-old woman?

 

If you want to save your marriage and salvage whatever respect your husband has, leave your freeloading family pronto. Let them start fending for themselves because, surely, no one will die if they started sweating for a living—for a change.

 

The world is full of scoundrels and bloodsuckers. Many have this warped sense of entitlement just because they are family, and it’s embarrassing that some of them are your own. So, stop it already, because your senses are now screaming foul. The end for this unwarranted charity has come. Enough is enough!

 

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