I received the following letter and questions from a woman outside Manila, who requested that her name be withheld:

“I wonder why members of my family die almost successively. My father died Nov. 19, 2006, my brother in 2008 (due to colon cancer), then my nephew in 2012.

“My eldest brother is suffering from colon cancer stage 2-B. My sister is having her nose operated to remove a polyp which recurs.

“My mother suffered a major stroke which caused her death on Feb. 2 at the age of 89. Two days after her burial, a family security guard saw her outside our house. That night also, my brother smelled flowers.

“My questions are: 1) Does God want to punish us? 2) Is there a curse in the family? What should we do to prevent these bad things from happening? 3) Does my mother want to convey something to us? 4) What is the condition of my mother now? Is she in pain?”

Here are my answers to your questions:

1. Before we assume a supernatural cause for anything that happens, let us first find out if there is any natural or rational explanation for them.

Your family members may have a history of serious medical problems, so it is quite expected that some of them may die close to each other’s dates of death.

What happened, therefore, may not necessarily be a curse but could be medical in origin.  Ask your family physician that question. There could be a genetic cause for these events.

Only after exhausting all possible natural or rational causes should you assume a supernatural one.

Saying goodbye

2. There are many stories of spirits of the dead showing themselves to others right after they die. This is neither strange nor uncommon. It’s also quite natural for them to visit close relatives and make their presence felt through the sense of smell.

My view is that the spirit of your mother simply wanted to say goodbye to relatives to whom she manifested herself.

3. It is also possible she does not know yet that she’s already dead, and therefore may still go to places she frequently visited when she was still alive, and not necessarily because she wants to convey something to you. Only if the manifestations continue over a certain period should you assume that the dead would like to say something important to the living, or may have unfinished business they cannot leave behind.

For more details and in-depth discussion about this topic, please read my best-selling book, “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ghosts (But Were Afraid to Ask),” available at all branches of National Book Store and PowerBooks.

I believe that God does not punish or reward us. We punish or reward ourselves. This is true for me, no matter how many contrary opinions you may have heard from Christian preachers and evangelists saying it is God who rewards or punish us.

Because of free will, which was given to us by God, we are solely responsible for whatever happens to us. We cannot blame God, our parents, society, or former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo alone for our misery. We brought these things to us, perhaps not in this life, but in our previous lives.

If your mother is no longer manifesting herself after initially appearing to your security guard, that means she is at peace. She is in a much better and happier place than we, who are still alive. There is no pain in the spirit world.

NOTE: For those interested in personal consultancy, individual past life hypnotic regression, scientifically based Inner Mind Development and Psychic seminars and other paranormal services, please call 8107245 or 0920-9818962 for details. By popular request, a Practical Mind Dynamics seminar is scheduled March 24-25, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., at Rm. 308 Prince Plaza I, Legaspi St., Greenbelt, Makati. Call the numbers above.