People, as a rule, try to be more positive in whatever way they can. Whether welcoming a new year or not, people try to create a good outlook in life.
But why do we find ourselves reverting to negativity? It is not for lack of trying.
The intentions are there, but it is the follow-through that seems to be lacking; hence it is easy to revert to unpleasant thought patterns.
But with the tools I would like to share with readers, positivism becomes a natural response. All you need to do is be mindful of these five things in your life.
The best way to shift your perspective from negative to positive thinking is gratitude.
The most popular study on gratitude is currently being conducted by Robert Emmons, Ph.D., at University of California, Davis. There is empirical evidence that gratitude can impact our health by shifting our moods and emotions.
Start a gratitude journal. This is a great way to teach gratitude to your kids, too. Every night, write down three things you are grateful for that happened during the day. This will turn your focus from negative to positive instantly.
This exercise also teaches your brain to focus on what you have rather than what you do not have. The result: You will attract more positive things, incidences and thought patterns into your life.
Just a piece of advice, though: When things start going well, continue the practice of writing down three things you are grateful for every day. Most people stop when things go well, and then wonder why they are on a roller-coaster ride.
Continue this practice and create amazing shifts in your life now.
2) Love yourself.
There is only one secret to happiness: self-love. The only way you can achieve true happiness is by learning to love yourself and accepting yourself purely and unconditionally.
This means no to self-judgment, no to self-sabotage, no to false humility.
False humility is putting yourself down in order to lift others up.
With every action, every re-action and every thought, ask yourself: Am I honoring myself? Am I accepting myself? Am I judging myself?
You will find that half the time you are your own worst judge. Remember that if you do no wrong, you are no longer a human being.
Accept your humanity. You will commit mistakes, and those mistakes are an opportunity to learn and evolve. Mistakes do not make you flawed, it makes you human.
A person who practices self-love will ask himself or herself the following questions: What made me react that way, and how can I react differently next time? What did I learn from this? What was it about the other person that irritated me, and how does this reflect on me?
This way, you focus on your own growth. Remember, you have all the power in the world to create shifts within yourself, but zero power to change another person.
3) Stop blaming others.
If you catch yourself blaming someone else for anything that is not going well in your life, stop immediately. There is no one to blame.
Everything that is going on in your life is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself.
There is nothing outside of you that is making you miserable or happy for that matter. You are creating it yourself; and you, and you alone, have the capacity to maintain your own happiness or to release yourself from misery. Do not give anyone or anything the power to make you happy or miserable.
First, it isn’t true happiness, but on the upside, it isn’t true misery either.
Second, it is all drama. When you learn to live without drama, you learn accountability.
Questions you ask yourself evolve from “Why me?” to “What did I do to create this? What do I need to learn from this? What is the lesson here?”
When you truly forgive, you release the incident, the people and circumstances from causing you pain ever again.
Not that you forget the incident, but you release the incident from your space because you have already learned your lesson.
This is based on the knowing that life gives us people and incidents as experiences from which to evolve into the highest version of ourselves.
We have a choice. We either choose to grow or we choose to remain bitter and wounded. Would you actually give someone that much power over you?
If someone has hurt you so much that it paralyzes you, why would you give that person much power? If you take that pain and transmute it into a learning, a lesson, and a point of soul evolution and growth, then you transfer the power to yourself.
Use this painful incident and grow from it, learn from it and evolve from it. That is the only time you can truly forgive. Forgiveness is about releasing the pain and taking the lesson so that you can implement it into your life and be a better person because of it.
5) Receive love.
Learn how to receive. In my practice, I come across this situation on a daily basis. People love to give of themselves, especially to those they love, but they do not allow themselves to receive.
It is just as important to receive as it is to give. Here is a very accurate muscle test for you to try:
Face north. Say “yes.” Your body will naturally lean forward. If you are not moving, drink a glass of water and try it again.
And then say “no.” Your body will start moving backwards.
Say, “My name is (your name).” Your body will start moving forward for yes.
Say, “My name is (make up a name).” Your body will start moving backwards.
Now say: “I know how to receive love.”
Then say: “I know how to give love within healthy boundaries.”
If you move forward, you are OK; you are balanced.
If you don’t move forward, practice the aforementioned tips and you will find that your beliefs will change as well.
Remember that making positive changes in your life is a decision, just like everything else.
Take these tips and apply them in your life and you will see obvious changes in a short amount of time.
The key is to stick to it. Old patterns are not difficult to change, provided that you are committed and dedicated to the positive changes that are about to happen.