Where do I get birth control and which one should I get? What does an orgasm feel like? How the hell do you do butt stuff? We answer all these questions in our new column about sex. Say hello to The Big O.

There are two kinds of people in the world: people who love anal sex and people who think it’s gross. Media up until this point has been happy to portray it as the latter: disgusting, perverted, and (*gasp*) gay. But it’s 2017, Year of the Ass, and anal is less taboo than ever. There are a couple things to keep in mind if you’re thinking of jumping on the butt sex bandwagon.

What to do before

Stay away from food and drinks that make you flatulent or in simpler terms, poopy. Try to poop beforehand, if you can. Maintaining a balanced diet of fiber and protein results in healthy and regular bowel movements, which helps keep you clean and ready for butt sex. And unless you’re a porn star or extremely anxious about cleanliness, an enema is completely unnecessary. Just wash up with soap and water before you get down and dirty.

The most important thing is to relax. If you’re tense, it’ll make for a much more awkward and painful experience. Have a little alcohol if it helps! But not too much, or the beer shits will bite you in the ass the next morning.

What to do during

If you’re still not ready for full-on anal sex, it’s okay to ask your partner to start small and slow. Get used to the sensation by having them use their fingers or tongue first. You can also use a small butt plug and gradually increase the size until you work your way up to the real thing.

You should always be practicing safe sex, and even moreso with anal. Many STDs and infections can be contracted and transmitted anally, such as HIV, HPV, gonorrhea, and herpes. Using a condom is the best way to protect yourself and your partner. It also makes for much easier cleanup!

Anal can be an unfamiliar sensation at best and painful at worst; use lube to help you ease into anything ass-related. If you’re using toys and/or a condom, double-check the label and make sure you’re using a water-based lube to avoid breaking down the latex or silicone material.

The position you have sex in can make all the difference, especially for a first-timer. Missionary is both safe and intimate. You’re more relaxed when you’re lying on your back, and you have all the room to spread your legs as necessary. Cowgirl is best for the women who like to be in control, or are worried about the pain or discomfort. In this position, you can control the speed and the depth of the thrust, therefore freely being able to explore what makes you feel good without any pressure or fear. Doggy style can be too intense and even painful for some women, so it might not be the best choice for anal virgins. However, it’s also one of the best positions for orgasm, so don’t be scared to try it once you’re ready.

What to do after

Toilet rules definitely apply–don’t go from back to front. You can transfer bacteria from your rectum to your vagina, which can result in a host of infections. If you absolutely must, make sure to wash up thoroughly and use a new condom.

For the tops: tell your partner that you appreciate them for sharing this experience with you. Cuddle with them. And if you get shit on your dick or fingers, try not to make a big deal out of it. It can be embarrassing for a bottom, and they may be too mortified to ever try it again. Be kind. Focus on how much fun you had instead.

Putting something up your butt doesn’t have to be a huge spectacle. As with most things involving sex, just relax, communicate with your partner, and enjoy the ride. And for the love of god, please use a condom.

Photography by Poj Gaerlan