I am 25 years old, and not to brag, many say I am handsome, with an athletic body. I’ve had a lot of girlfriends since high school, and now that I am a professional, I am finding they’re still a problem in my life—such as the one that made me write you.
When I was 22, one of our neighbors asked my mother if she could leave her 13-year-old-daughter with us because she was going to follow her husband abroad. Since my family and hers are good friends, my mother agreed.
The girl was still in second year high school at that time—beautiful, growing up tall and getting sexy. We became good friends. I’d bring her everyday to school in my motorbike on my way to work nearby.
The problem did not come until the time I accidentally opened the bathroom and saw her in the shower naked. Since then I began lusting after her. I admit that what I did was wrong, but the girl and I were always left alone.
One night, we had sex. I did not rape her, she simply gave in to me. I stole her innocence at that early age, but she seemed not to mind it.
I wanted to forget that night, but it happened again and again. We had sex every time we wanted without any hesitation. She even used to sleep with me almost every night without the knowledge of my family.
Of course I devised ways so we would not be caught. We did this for three years. I protected her by always using a condom or by withdrawal. This continued until I found another woman I fell in love with.
I wanted to stop the sex with her, but I didn’t know how without hurting her and telling her I didn’t love her. One more thing. We had sex one time without protection and I got her pregnant. Now that she is one month gone, I am in trouble. My family doesn’t know any of this.
Our situation got worse when she got the news that her father and mother had separated without her knowledge. I want to protect her and not see her desperate, but I don’t love her. Our intimate moments just happened without any commitments.
I want all of these problems to stop. I want to move away from her, but I don’t want to leave her all alone. She is just 17. As for me, I have no problem because I now have a stable job. I wonder: If I marry her when she turns 18, would this be a right decision?
Let’s do the math and the circumstance. You were 22 when a 13-year-old-girl was entrusted to the care of your family by a friend who was going abroad to work. One day, you saw her naked and in that brief moment, your hormones went into overdrive.
No matter how sexy or alluring she looked to you, she was just a kid who didn’t know any better! Of course she was yours for the taking; she wouldn’t have known what was happening, except that she trusted you. How could she have said no?
Couldn’t you have used your brain instead of that heat-seeking missile south of your waistline? She had no parents to mold her values, and not much understanding or introspection of her environment because that’s still way off her ball field. She probably only has the TV for company—getting her perspective in life out of shallow, fantasy-laden melodramas that purportedly emulate what’s going on in life.
You were the mature person here and you just behaved horribly, much like a wolf in a chicken coop!
Then you found a girl you said you’ve fallen in love with. Where could you have found the time? Between your job, your sex life with the young girl at home, and this new woman—you must have been a very busy man! How can your problems go away when you’ve even added more to the pile with her unwanted pregnancy?
You—specifically—are her only family now. Her parents have all but abandoned her and her accidental pregnancy has just compounded her problems. And you’re already processing how to leave her? Did she even finish high school? Has she learned any skills or training, other than being proficient in sex with you?
How do you think she will fare when you discard her like a dirty rag one day? Have you even considered what the future of her kid will be should you decide to pack up and go with the other woman?
You stole the innocence of this young girl and made her your sex object for three years. Don’t even begin to rationalize that you’ve never forced her into it. She was a child! You virtually took over her life before she could determine what was right for her. In more civilized, caring societies, you’d be imprisoned for rape.
Look yourself in the mirror and see if it reflects the creep you’ve become. Have an honest soul-searching conversation with yourself about this girl and the growing life inside her. Just remember she didn’t ask for this. She’s much too young to have had the sensibility then, and now, to be thrust into this mire by someone she trusted most.
However you love the other woman, you have a duty to this girl. Whatever it is, abandonment is not an option.