Our flight from Manila to Los Angeles was smooth. Take off was delayed because of air traffic. Everything else was flawless, typical Philippine Airlines. Warm. Friendly. At your service.
I like their slogan: “Philippine Airlines, The Heart of the Filipino.” And it truly is.
From LA, we went on a late night hop to Las Vegas. This was not a fun visit to Sin City. It was a deeply painful time for all.
But we were with old friends who are closer than family, who have known the best and the worst of us and loved us anyway. And their warmth and welcome was just what the doctor ordered. Really a godsend.
Everyone should have this kind of a gathering, especially in sad times. It is good for the soul to indulge in remembering, and maybe even to wallow a little while in the sad memories too long stifled and relegated to a long list of things best forgotten. It was necessary to bring them out in the open, just one more time, before finally putting them to rest in a heart once broken and now fully restored. The chapter has finally closed.
An old friend hugged me close before I left Las Vegas and whispered: “Remember only the joy!”
And I do!
Atlanta
It was a short flight from Las Vegas to Atlanta. What a gorgeous night! The moon and stars were out in all their splendor to welcome me to my “other” home where I am reunited with my one and only sister.
For the next several weeks, we will “talk story” like only sisters know how. We look forward to eating at our favorite restaurants, watch our favorite Spanish telenovelas, share our latest “big reads” and laugh over everything and anything at all.
How is it possible that, although our stories are old and have been told and retold, they still seem fresh and even more meaningful? Here we are again, laughing and crying over the same war experiences; no new stories to tell there, just the same old tales that have been hashed and rehashed over time.
It suddenly occurs to me that there was no fake news in those days. But I do remember hearing the grown-ups talk about “balitang cochero,” which really meant unreliable small-town gossip which was to be taken with a grain of salt, considering its source.
But it was allowed to spread because it made us feel better. It was optimistic even when untrue, and we embraced it because it buoyed our spirits, gave us fresh hope and a reason to carry on.
Most of the time, the balita was from someone speculating on how the war would end, presenting images of American soldiers marching down our street. We listened, mesmerized. It was based on real news and we knew it had been edited and embellished. But we chose to believe. It reinforced our own expectations of MacArthur’s promise: “I shall return.”
The first part of my yearly sabbatical has been amazing. With friends and family, I did a lot of catching up. We remembered and relived old times, renewed friendships and bonded with people we had not seen in decades. God is good.
About age
In my sister’s big bright kitchen, I read an article on aging. Debra Bruno of the Washington Post writes about a study conducted by Dorian Block, director of the Exceeding Expectations project at the Robert N. Butler Aging Center at Columbia University titled “You can be the person you’ve always been.” The participants were 20 New Yorkers, of mixed backgrounds, 80 years and older.
Here are some nuggets from the project.
“Have a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning. If you do nothing, you’re going to sit and rock and your life has no meaning after that.”
“Celebrate and cultivate the social connections.”
“Some people live with health and other challenges as the main plot of their lives. For so many other people, it’s just the background. Do not be defined by your obstacles.”
“Money isn’t as important as you might think.” Block says, “Something that was very surprising to me was that people’s levels of satisfaction with their life and their daily routines were not affected by their class and income level.”
“Acknowledge that aging can be lonely. Many felt very alone in their experience of aging.”
“Have a routine. Most participants showed that they were secure in their routine, showing that they know what matters to them.”
“Death has no dominion. Nearly every person in the project had no fear of death and no hesitation about talking about the end. Younger people are scared to talk about dying. It’s such a reality for people in their 80s. Most of the participants said they had lived a full life and were ready to go.”
“One of the biggest take-aways from the Columbia study is the evidence that aging, even with the inevitable losses and restrictions, doesn’t have to be dismal. In fact, removed from the daily hustle to work, life in the last decades can be a time to savor living.”
Block concludes: “Science and our own experience tells us that ageism begins with our own perceptions of aging. Every time we tell ourselves we’re too old, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Wise words. For any age.
