Dear Emily,

I am a 62-year-old widow with two married children. Since losing my husband 10 years ago, I have not been involved with any man. I devote my time to my little business.

I fell in love recently in secret with an old, kind bachelor who I thought was in love with me, too. He was shy so I made the first move befriending him. I even invited him for coffee. But I felt he wasn’t at all interested.

Life is short and I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to meet a bachelor my age, or a widower who would want to spend time and his life with me.—Hope

What to do, what to do!
Some men at that age are mostly settled, or otherwise in need of a carer. But if still relatively healthy and his funds are attractive enough, a trophy wife might be more to his liking.
It’s clearly disheartening for elderly women, but those are the facts of life. Truth hurts. Why not leave men out of the equation for a while, till fate surprises you with something that will fit you?

And why not truly love yourself wholly? Let your concern be you, be interested in you, be kind to you, know what you most need and accept the joys of being single.

Don’t you relish sleeping snugly in your own warm bed, undisturbed by the roar of an MRT train beside you every night?

Don’t you enjoy that quiet first cup of coffee in the morning without anyone breaking your reverie with demands for food?

Don’t you enjoy going out of the house just to while the time, spend your own money, or meet up with friends for a good time, without having to hurry home for someone who’s impatiently waiting for your return?

Do you really want to give up your hold of the TV remote, again?

It’s wonderful and fantastic to be kissed passionately and hugged and made love to again. Your children and grandkids can never approximate the sensual touch of a man, but their warmth and absolute love can relieve you nevertheless of stress and loneliness when need be.

And after 10 years of single -blessedness, are you sure you want to dive into that pool of uncertainty and possible turmoil with another human being, once more?

Be forewarned of answered prayers. Your first marriage must have been great, but countless women who are prisoners of loveless and horrible marriages would give an arm and a leg to be in your place right now.

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