That’s what I said to the grown-ups during our Christmas Eve dinner.

They threw confused looks in my direction and I replied by dipping my fried chicken in gravy.

My aunts and uncles were talking about losing weight and eating healthy (while pouring glasses of Coke for each other) in the new year.

Weighing scales on the ready, they entered into a “Biggest Loser challenge”—the one who loses the most weight wins.

But no one really wins the challenge. It lasts only two to three months and is completely forgotten for the rest of the year.

Cool Gen Z

As a diarist, I loved writing down New Year’s resolutions. I promised to read more books, buy more magazines, and make my crush like me back. I was only 12 then.

A few years later, I started sharing on social media flat lays of my bucket list. I added items like signing up for a yoga class and going on a digital diet to sound like a cool member of Generation Z.

On my 18th birthday, I bought 50 books, hoping to read them in a year. But these plans began to falter by February and I had no resolve by the end of the year.

New Year celebrations inspire us to start our lives with a clean slate. So we roll up our sleeves and make these checklists in our journals or on the Notes app of our phones. Just like my friends who rock soft wispy bangs on the first day of classes, we long for change. We strive to become better versions of ourselves.

Vicious loop

As the year runs on its last legs, though, we find ourselves in a situation not so different from where we were a year ago. Left with a pile of reading lists. Searching for the best diet plan. Running around the vicious loop of New Year’s resolutions.

This habit is a booby trap, one may say. It’s called ningas-kugon, a Filipino trait of starting out a task but leaving it half-done or unfinished.

I’m guilty of this habit. One time, I ate a bag of Cheetos and entirely lost the drive to eat clean for the rest of the year. Game over, I thought. So I slacked off and readily skipped healthy meals halfway through the year.

My goal commitment—or the lack thereof—has also affected my study routine and spending habits.

I realized that New Year’s resolutions become a convenient excuse, rather than a guide, from living our lives to the fullest. Sometimes, it holds us back from reaching our greatest potential.

I thought about breaking down my own New Year’s resolutions into timely goals, so my dreams won’t be too far and intimidating to reach. This way, I could also muster the courage to make them happen.

Rather than stressing over the person we should become, may we take this moment to celebrate the person we have become. Our little moments of victory. Every beautiful and bittersweet piece of our life that makes us whole.

The new year is a chance to be thankful. It is also a chance to try again.

We can choose to change our ways and habits (ningas-kugon included) without having to wait for a new year to begin.