Dear Emily,

My parents were the couple least likely to separate.  They met in high school, went steady in college and got married immediately after graduation.  Their fathers were both wealthy and well-respected business personalities.  They had children immediately; I was the youngest of five.   We traveled together and did activities as a family every weekend.  That’s why it was a shock when, on their 25th year together, they announced that they were seeking an annulment.   We never witnessed any quarrels or heard unkind words exchanged.  There was no gossip of a third party among their friends who were as shocked as everyone else. 

We learned that my father had a second family on the other side of town.  The woman turned out to be the nurse of my father’s mother when she was bedridden and staying in our house.  

Our family, which was once the epitome of perfection, suddenly was no more.  My mother left for abroad to stay with her single sister.  Since the kids were all mature and starting their own lives, we were left to our own devices.  Being the youngest, I woke up to realize that a perfect life can turn upside down in a blink of an eye.

—BOY TO MAN

You’re mature enough to know that oftentimes, there’s suddenly no rhyme or reason in life.  What you thought was a perfect harmony within your family turned out to be fantasy.  How some things worked out and how your parents’ long relationship didn’t.  Nobody was at fault here.  Things just happened the way they did.

But let not that huge nasty bump in your life make you cynical and affect how you foresee your own in the future. How you look at everything now shouldn’t be a reflection of your parents’ fate.   Your destiny is your own.

To quote from the poem “Desiderata,” “With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

[email protected] or [email protected]