The quality of our life is a mirror of the quality of our thoughts, beliefs and mindset. If your mental health suffered during the pandemic, take this as a feedback that something has to change.

There are personality types that suffered the most during the pandemic. If you fall under any of these categories, here are some tips to shift your mindset.

1. Your sense of self is dependent on others. We call this type the others-referent. As the term suggests, they need to refer to what other people think and want, before they can decide for themselves. Having limited social interaction makes them feel at a loss because the people they depend on for praise or feedback are harder to come by. If this is you, it’s time to get to know yourself better and have a choice in your own life. Who do you want to be, and how do you want to live your life?

2. Extroverts. We define extroverts as those who get their energy from being with people. Isolation is most challenging for them because it feels like their whole world has disappeared. While many think that extroversion is permanent, this can actually be adjusted. One can learn to be an introvert or an ambivert. It starts with finding ways to enjoy one’s own company, and learning to recharge from solo activities and from one’s environment. Communing with nature, listening to music, tapping into your artistic side are great ways to start.

3. In relationships for the wrong reasons. The pandemic was make-or-break for many couples. While many chose to get married, many also broke up. Couples whose relationships didn’t have strong foundations or who didn’t have the right reasons for being together felt the burden of attachment. If they lived together, they started to realize that they feel lonely even with their partners around. If they lived apart, they realized their way of communication wasn’t healthy and effective. This is a good time to reboot, find who you are solo, and have criteria for a better partner.

4. Can’t deal with their own thoughts. Those who have been escaping their own thoughts and emotions didn’t have any choice but to be confronted with their inner demons. Many of the escapes aren’t easily accessible and they’re forced to deal with the deafening silence of the outer world, and the noise of their inner world. Writing thoughts down provides a release and a relief. Having a sounding board will help sort through the conflicting thoughts we have. The best way to quiet down the mind is to hear what it has to say.

Perfectionists

5. Have a bad relationship with oneself. Perfectionists and people who drive themselves too hard would count here. Most people weren’t as productive and effective during the pandemic. Those who discount small progress will put pressure on themselves to do more and be more. Being kind and compassionate to oneself is key here. Imagine being a good friend to yourself. Ask yourself how you feel and what you need in the moment. Be forgiving of shortcomings. Learn to celebrate baby steps and small wins. Count the effort exerted even if results aren’t perfect and complete.

6. In the wrong profession. By wrong, we mean not the right place for them. Abraham Maslow says, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” Those who chose their profession solely for money or to please others would have no anchor to hold on to when everything seems uncertain.

Every day, they feel inauthentic, and this can eat at one’s sanity and peace. Finding one’s ikigai or purpose is helpful in answering the question, “What should I be doing in life?” Even if what you’re deeply passionate about isn’t going to feed you yet, at least have it as a hobby or part-time stint. This will make your spirit come alive.

7. Have deprioritized things that matter. People realized the things that truly matter when the world seemed uncertain. Family, sense of purpose, peace of mind, whatever it is that makes life worth living—make sure it’s not compromised in the life you choose. In coaching, we call this one’s ecology. Some choices end up poisoning the other aspects of our lives. Think of yourself as one whole system where everything is interconnected. Have your values at the center of your life’s direction, decisions and choices.

Any small shift is a good start. Any time is a good time. Be ruthlessly compassionate to yourself. Strive for quality and excellence while being kind to yourself. Decide to let the worst of times make you a better person and have a better life. —CONTRIBUTED