DEAR EMILY,
I used to be a call girl. That is, until I graduated into being a solid, well-maintained mistress.
I started my trade at 19 until I met this client who turned into my lover when I was in my late 20s. He is 18 years my senior. It was a while before he found out I was a hooker. I was always well-dressed and elegant, and spoke English quietly and correctly. I even knew which fork to use and where my bread plate was. He knew me as a real-estate agent and he was quite impressed that I was knowledgeable in that area.
He is a very successful corporate man. He is married to a woman whose face is always photographed in parties. They have two children with their own families. He fell in love with me because he said I am completely the opposite of his demanding and overambitious wife.
He said that her overly botoxed face grates on his nerves. I never encouraged him to badmouth her, and all I really do is listen. I always knew he needed to de-stress when we’re together.
But as our relationship got deeper and deeper, I had to confess to him I was a hooker when he first met me. He didn’t get angry at all. He said he didn’t care about my past because he has met so many women from high-powered families who were worse than whores.
He started bringing me abroad for his meetings, and even when his family went on vacation. I would stay in a different hotel and he always found time to be with me. He never made me feel unwanted. For my part, I became a full-time mistress and turned my back on my profession for good. That was almost 20 years.
My problem is, he wants to formally divorce his wife and marry me. There’s no question that I love him, but I am quite happy with our arrangement. I like my freedom and I don’t want the complexities of being a wife. It will not add any value to me despite what people may assume.
Most importantly, I don’t want him losing the respect of his friends when they find out he is marrying a hooker at this late stage of his life.
—Ex-Street Walker
The fact that you did not initiate the issue of the big “M” should not worry you at all. Had you held a gun to his head, or started to blackmail him, that would have been an entirely different scenario.
He should know what he is getting into because, didn’t he himself state that there are many women from high-powered families worse than whores? You were selling your body for money. That’s not worse or any different from feigning affection to gain power, or acquire jewels, or other material stuff.
Most women go around the bush doing it, while you did yours openly. As they say, “same same.” Everyone has a price. Including the holier-than-thous.
Tell him exactly how you feel about marriage and don’t make a song-and-dance about it. It may be the piece of paper many will assume you’ll jump at for this chance to give yourself the respectability you “need.” But you know who you are and where you’re coming from and despite your perceived “minuses” when viewed against the uptown status of his family, you probably feel you’re better off maintaining the status quo.
You clearly feel it’s a case of jumping from the frying pan to the fire, despite the cushiony existence awaiting you. Besides, marrying this lover will create a vacancy—for a new mistress. Who’d want that!
E-mail [email protected] or [email protected]—subject: Lifestyle.
