I am looking for a baby. For almost a year now, I have been in search of the little one who will bring joy into the still childless home of my friends in Switzerland.

 

Years ago, I helped with the adoption of an infant born in a cubicle on top of a welding shop. Maria now lives in a suburb outside Los Angeles, California. I had not tried again, until Angel. It’s funny how it all came about. Let me tell you a story.

 

I heard from a cousin that there was a child who needed a home. I mentioned it to my daughter in Florida. She knew a couple who, for several years, had spent all kinds of money on “desperate measures” to have their own and were now looking to adopt. We were immediately in touch. Ah, the wonders of technology.

 

The couple had their papers in order, home study requirements and documentation all in accordance with Hague Rules and Regulations for adoption. Excellent! I was convinced it was answered prayer.

 

I met and fell in love with Angel when she was 10 months old. The lady who took care of her from birth was a nurse. Let’s call her Susan. She had just signed up for a job in Australia, but did not want to leave unless she had found a good home for Angel.

 

She recounted how Angel’s unmarried young mother, probably high on drugs, had tried to flush the premature infant down the toilet when she was born. Susan rescued Angel and took her home. The mother, she said, wanted nothing to do with her child.

 

Long waiting periods

 

I went to the Department of Social Welfare and Development to learn a little about adoptions. There are many rules and long waiting periods. Child and parent must be matched. Forms have to be filled, foster homes found. My candidates were willing and ready to do anything, even fly here at a moment’s notice. DSWD said it could take more than a year, but that it was doable.

 

Our first big step was to have the biological mother sign papers of commitment, stating she was giving her child up for adoption. Susan took the forms and promised to look for the mother who, according to Susan, had not been heard from since Angel was born. If we failed to get the signature, the baby would be declared abandoned, and that meant more delay.

 

Susan’s job in Australia started to take shape, and she got busy. But she vowed to keep in touch.

 

Suddenly things changed. Our regular conversations via phone or text were few and far between. Whenever I asked about her search, she was evasive. One day she surfaced, annoyed at my insistent texts. She said she was moving but had no rent money and didn’t know her new address. This made me uneasy and suspicious.

 

Susan never called again. Eventually we heard her visa was approved, and that she received a hefty advance from her employer. Departure seemed imminent. We doubled our efforts to find her and Angel.

 

It was a month later that I learned Susan had left for Sydney, alone. I didn’t know where to start looking for Angel. I followed the route we usually took to pick them up for visits. Not a trace. Someone suggested I call the police. I didn’t. Maybe I should have?

 

We lost Angel. My friends in Switzerland were heartbroken. So was I.

 

Today Angel is 16 months old. From unexpected sources, I found out that Susan had always been in touch with Angel’s biological mother. Why did Susan make up all those stories? What was her agenda? I guess we’ll never know. I only hope and pray that wherever Angel is, she is safe and loved.

 

Hearts involved

 

Someone warned me that adoptions are stressful. I can only say that there is a huge emotional component in the process. It is not a business transaction, although some may want it to be. There are hearts involved, lives that can change just by the presence (or absence) of a child.

 

There are many reasons why women give up their children. Whatever may prompt them to make that choice, it must be the most painful decision ever in a mother’s life.

 

And so it is that all over the country there are children waiting for parents. Recent reports show there are over 2,000 children living in orphanages who are available for adoption. These are the lucky ones. There is hope for them. Thousands of kids sleep on the streets, under trucks, next to gutters and garbage. Is there a magic wand that can make it all better?

 

I don’t have the numbers, but I know that there are men and women out there who would give anything, pay any price, just to have someone to tuck in bed every night, someone to read fairly tales to, someone who will call them mom or dad. Like my friends, they pray to someday find that one little soul in need of their love.

 

I ask again, why is it such a complex problem to bring them together?

 

I look at my grandchildren all safe and cozy at home, with a mom and a dad who love them and I wonder, do they know how other children live? Do they realize how blessed they are?

 

In this crazy world where children are bought and sold for big bucks, it has become increasingly difficult to legally place a child in a safe and loving home. The red tape you have to go through is necessary for their protection. The process is long and tedious. Some exasperated prospective parents give up. Others use other avenues.

 

And as this drama unfolds, countless women patiently wait in the wings. They have no idea how long it will take. But they continue to storm heaven. Their only desire is to become a mother.

 

Can anyone describe the love that a woman feels for a child she has never even met?

 

The Adoption Creed tries.

 

“Not flesh of my flesh

 

Not bone of my bone, but still miraculously, my own.

 

Never forget for a single minute,

 

You didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.”