How many times a day do you feel like you need to act, behave or be a certain way? Let’s go through an honest reality check. Remember, only you will know the answer, so be honest with yourself as you go through this list:
1. Do I act like myself, or do I act the way others expect me to?
2. Do I say what I feel, or just agree with the general consensus?
3. When I’m with close friends, do I pretend all is well in my world, even though there is something bothering me?
4. Does my chosen profession dictate the way I am being?
5. Am I presenting my authentic self, or am I presenting what I think people want me to be or expect me to be?
Sometimes, we unconsciously act the way we perceive others expect us to. Sometimes we fall into the stereotype of what our profession or status in life calls for. More often than not, we are so afraid to be judged that we go into default by acting or being a certain way.
Paradox
The key point I wish to make is that others do not expect anything from us. Really, this is the truth. People are too caught up in their own dramas to expect their friends, relatives and colleagues to act a certain way.
Yet the paradox is that while people never expect, they are so quick to judge and label others.
Based on personal experience, I’ve come to realize that when we judge and label others, we are simply projecting judgment and labeling ourselves.
Another point I wish to make is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about other people’s opinion of you, so why bother?
Happiest people
People will either like or dislike you. People will either have something good or bad to say about you. That’s just the way it works, but then again, you already know that. The question is, why do you care?
The happiest people I know are those who really don’t care what other people think of them, because they have a foundation of self-awareness and self-acceptance.
They know exactly who they are. They have come to accept what is beautiful and not so beautiful about themselves and embrace this as who they are.
Their shadow and light are one; their wonderful traits and irritating traits are one.
They do not judge themselves. They change what they want to change about themselves, but accept the fact that there will always be something within them that others may not like. The point is, they like themselves, even with their faults.
There are ways in which self-acceptance and living from your authentic self can be your reality. Here are some startup pointers from an ever-growing list:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
2. Recognize that you are different, and that is what makes you special.
3. You are not like everyone else.
4. Not everyone will like you; surround yourself with those who genuinely appreciate who you are.
5. Do something nice for yourself and yourself alone every day, no matter how small, as long as it is for yourself. This is a great way for you to validate yourself.
6. Stop trying to fix yourself. At some point, you have to say, “This is me, and I like me and I accept myself.”
7. Self-doubt is your ego; there is nothing humble or holy about putting yourself down.
8. Appreciate yourself and appreciate those you love. Make it a habit to say thank you to those you love every day for even the smallest thing they do for you, and give yourself a pat on the back when you need it.
9. Before doing something, saying something or reacting to something, ask yourself, “Is this who I am?”
Then, simply watch the waves of illusion disappear as you morph into your most authentic self. It takes practice, but you yourself will see a happier you unfolding and manifesting in your life. Authenticity is something that will transform your life. Isn’t it time you accepted yourself?
