An old friend called me late at night, all hot and bothered.  She had overdosed (her words) on news about the US presidential candidates and their intrigues, “and as if that was not enough, someone sent me the latest from Manila.” What now?

 

Well, the latest last week may no longer be such a hot topic today. I have followed some of it and I can hear myself still groaning.

 

But I have not caught the action “streaming live” from the Senate floor. I decided to sit this one out and promised myself not to get too upset if, again, nothing comes out of it. I also said this several hearings ago but still watched. I had hope then, I guess.

 

What for?

 

Still stewing, my friend continued. It was the wee hours in Atlanta and I was in bad need of sleep. But I listened. “Why don’t you write about it? You must have an opinion about all this.”

 

I was quiet. There was a voice deep inside me chanting, “Why not, why not?” But another voice, just as loud and clear, said, “What for, what for?”

 

The second voice won. I honestly don’t think we need another disgruntled article. Would it make a difference? But am I now one of too many who complain but do nothing? Is it my age? Or have I, in my heart of hearts, given up?

 

When I resumed writing after my inevitable long hiatus, a colleague told me: “I hope you write not just what you please but also about what you have lived. Maybe it’s time to share your heart.”

 

I believe I have done just that.  Some readers, especially those who know and love me and who are very private, have chided me for being too candid, too forthright, and for wearing my heart on my sleeve. But I always have.

 

If I stray from those issues, whenever I decide it’s time to get current and say something of significance, I suddenly taste bitter venom in my throat and feel that familiar queasy sensation typical of a first trimester. Nausea!

 

A better way

 

But if I did, what would I write about?

 

For starters, the more than 1,500 new “lost” e-mails that were recently found. Were they classified? The candidate describes them as “boring.” But was security breached? Who knows!

 

And then last week, I heard her loquacious opponent rattle off a list of terrorist-coddling countries. Did I hear right? Yes we were in it. Was he “just being sarcastic?”

 

Or about a photograph that went viral, where the lady candidate is shown being helped up the stairs. Her people claim the steps were slick and slippery. Media has wondered out loud if she is ailing. But then we hear serious attacks about the mental health of her rival.

 

At home, a woman’s good name is disemboweled. It is open season for casting stones on social media. A titillated nation waits with bated breath for the damning evidence amid snickers and sneers.

 

There must be a better way to arrive at the truth. Whether it is true or not no longer matters at this point. The damage is done.

 

More shame

 

In Rio, they are still up in arms about the gold medalist who, in a drunken frenzy, vandalized a gas station, made up a story about being held at gunpoint and, later, as his story unraveled, admitted he “exaggerated a bit.” Faces are red. Sponsors have pulled out. What a shame.

 

Come to think of it, all of it is—shameful, that is.

 

Refresher needed

 

What will it take to clean up our act? How can we extricate ourselves from this inertia of contemptible behavior? Someone suggested getting back to basics.

 

In my day, even in kindergarten, we were taught good manners and right conduct. At home it was essential, indispensable. Is this still happening today?

 

Fred Astaire, that immortal dance icon of the ’40s, the ’50s and beyond, once said, “The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” True.

 

Good manners mean well-bred social behavior. It is not just about keeping elbows off the table or a napkin on your lap. It has everything to do with respect.

 

Here’s a list.

 

Play fair.

 

Say please and thank you.

 

Speak politely.

 

Don’t gossip.

 

Swearing is rude.

 

Don’t discuss body parts or functions.

 

Say hello and goodbye when entering or leaving your house.

 

Respect people.  Be considerate.

 

Be kind. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

 

Celebrate everyone’s success.

 

Don’t gloat over someone else’s misfortune. When somebody is down, reach out and help him up.

 

Remember that your conduct is the best proof of your character. Do what is right, not what is easy.

 

Appalled

 

American author H. Jackson Brown Jr., who wrote “Life’s Little Instruction Book,” said: “Live, so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.”

 

My father comes to mind.

 

Perhaps some children are getting confused. What is good now. What is proper? Does it matter?

 

All I know is that if my father were alive today, he would probably get an ulcer or two. He would be appalled at the language in print and media, at the unmentionables mentioned, the unspeakable spoken about.