Dear Emily,

My sister called me late one evening in hysterics. She said her 28-year-old single daughter was going on a local tour with a group of young folk her age. They’ll only be meeting for the first time at the airport.

So what was wrong, I asked? She said she didn’t know any of them and that her daughter has never been out of her sight and has never traveled without her.

Is she still in diapers and not yet weaned from her bottle, I asked. She screamed at me for insulting her. I told her she was insulting this 28-year-old-woman by not trusting her judgment or respecting her values. I said if she can’t trust her, she’s the one at fault for not raising her properly, instilling the right values in her so as to suspect she’ll be up to no good at this age.

She slammed the phone down on me. Was I being heartless in not commiserating with her? When will the daughter learn to live and survive if the mother doesn’t remove her trainers, as in a bike?

HARD SISTER

If we go by western standards, her daughter is 10 years past her due date to fly the coop and be independent. Tell your sister to be wary if she continues to be this possessive .

Children hate fussy parents. There’s nothing wrong with caring for and loving her daughter. But to be hysterical that her daughter will be surrounded by strangers on this vacation seems she worries too much about imagined probabilities.

Isn’t it about time your sister got a life of her own and not let it revolve around her daughter’s? Is she a happy person? If not, pity the daughter if that personality spills over and infects her as well.

How can this young woman adjust to adulthood and find her footing in this treacherous world if her mother won’t let her be? Your sister should look up to how birds teach life to their young. They kick these nestlings out of their coop the moment they’re able to gain their footing. That’s how the young are able to soar into the air on their own, and spread their wings to freedom.

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