Dear Emily,

I had this ex-boyfriend I loved unconditionally for years it made me look like a martyr. But he was into another girl.

I wanted him to be happy so I broke up with him. But when I left him, he’d search for me and contact me through social media.

It has been eight years and we’re still in each other’s lives. I can’t help but send him messages that I miss him.

There’s this other guy who loves me and wants me but I’m still in love with my ex. I want to forget him and move on but every time he calls, I couldn’t resist but express my feelings for him. I feel helpless around him.—Stupid Ex

Yes, love will make you stupid, and you can’t help but lose your mind. You got bitten hard! It’s not like you can open your brain and wipe him off from your memory. You have to help yourself: be strong and get him out of your system.

Change your numbers or get out of social media if you’re serious in flushing him out. He is bad news because you’re not becoming a better person. You’re clinging on to someone you know doesn’t give a damn. You cannot move on if you yourself encourage him to communicate with you.

You didn’t mention how old you are. If you’re still in your 20s, there is hope for you to get out of this mire and start life anew. But if you’re already hovering in the middle ages, that may prove unhealthy or unworkable if you continue pining for him. What he has become is a nasty habit that could prove difficult to unload.

Set your mind on loving yourself for a change.

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