Luka the Dancer, a business owner, was never a big shopper. Months into the pandemic, however, she started buying things online. Furniture. Pambahay. Plants. Alcohol. “Ang weird talaga,” she said. “Halfway through the pandemic, ’di ko na mapigilan sarili ko. Ewan ko ba. Parang feeling ko I deserve it.”

She and her husband just bought P2,500 worth of cheese. She ordered an office chair that cost P25,000 because working on their couch hurt her back.

“I feel so guilty because I know a lot of people have lost their jobs and I’m scared that I will run out of money, but I can’t help it. It gives me five minutes of happiness. Parang drugs,” she said.

Janina, a journalist, saw a similar spike in her shopping habits. Prepandemic, she said, “I had never shopped from Shopee or Instagram. I would buy stuff from Lazada maybe once every six months. Call me old school, but I’ve always preferred to shop in brick-and-mortar stores. I also have no self-control, so I always believed that online shopping is dangerous territory for my wallet.”

Janina’s first nonfood lockdown purchase was a yoga mat. Five months into the pandemic, she made her first Shopee and Instagram purchases—a laptop camera sticker and a ramen bowl. “I also bought a bunch of other stuff from online furniture stores.” Then, “One July morning, I woke up and thought I should get a vibrator. The package arrived two days later.”

Like Luka, she feels guilty about her purchases. “Here I am buying a dog bed for our new rescue while people are starving.”

Janina added, “A friend pointed out before that I tend to shop when I’m stressed. Maybe she’s right, that shopping is my way of coping.”

Self-soothing

Shopping has become one of the ways people cope with being on lockdown, said Dr. Angela Cuadro, a psychiatrist.

“Thrust into this pandemic, our usual coping mechanisms are pressured two ways, like addition and subtraction at the same time,” Cuadro told Lifestyle. “Unusually high levels of stress, changes and anxieties are forced upon us, while at the same time, our options to cope are limited. Added pressures plus limited solutions leave us with a thinner set of defense mechanisms. We are left bare, battered, anxious, uncomfortable. We then find ourselves scrambling for new ways to cope or to self-soothe.

“Baking more, bathing less, gardening more, crying less, shouting at our partners, praying, sleeping, throwing tantrums, online shopping are among the common ways most of us have been trying to self-soothe, which isn’t always a conscious effort, by the way,” Cuadro added.

“While it wouldn’t seem to make sense, that expensive handheld vacuum cleaner was purchased not really, or not only, to clean the sofa, but to soothe the soul.”

It’s no wonder people have been confessing to buying things they never thought about buying before. Like mugs, which Che Santos, an entrepreneur, bought for the first time in her life.

She’s been buying “everything,” Santos said. A hot pot, a tray, then coffee. The mugs just seemed like the logical next step.

Her Shopee points are proof of how much shopping she’s been doing during the pandemic, she said. The promos and sales get to her, too. “Ang dami na naming shampoo, conditioner at napakalaking mouthwash.”

Charisse Vilchez, a PR director, said, “Would you believe I only learned how to shop on Shopee and Lazada last April?”

She’s been buying clothes and stuff for her condo—shelves, plants, kitchenware. “But the one that takes the trophy would be K-pop or Korean drama merchandise—stickers, shirts, tote bag, pillow case.”

Vilchez also bought a copy of Esquire Korea with Park Seo Joon on the cover. “I can’t even read or speak Korean, hence I bought ‘Learn Korean with Package,’ which I’ll be getting by the end of this month.”

Vilchez has been enjoying all the shopping. “It really makes me happy and kilig.”Momentary satisfaction

“Shopping makes us happy,” said clinical psychologist Ronald Recio. “It’s a simple gratification. It reminds us na we have power (‘I choose to buy this’) and that may use tayo (‘I was able to buy something’). That’s why people engage in shopping as coping, even before the pandemic.”

But he warns that by using shopping as a coping mechanism, “You don’t really solve the problem. You just give yourself momentary satisfaction and gratification.”

Gelo Arucan, a customer service agent, said, “I’m not the whole ‘shopping helps me cope’ kind of person, so I think it’s just because it’s much more convenient and accessible at this time.”

Arucan said that his work schedule didn’t leave him with a lot of opportunities to shop. “I had to report to work daily so shopping was always planned and budgeted. But now, because of the pandemic, I’m just at home and it’s easier to shop because of the convenience of online shopping stores and digital wallets. They’ve made spending so convenient, it’s dangerous!”

He’s been buying “a bunch of craft supplies for journaling, a lot of books because reading is fundamental, and countless toys because I like collecting and playing with toys!”

Crazy purchases

Arucan’s craziest quarantine purchase? “Hmm, does a Ouija board count? I haven’t tested it yet but I figured it’ll come in handy for a Zoom seance this Halloween!”

Francis Gaerlan, an architect based in Singapore, used to just buy necessities. During the pandemic, however, he bought “guitar gear, camera stuff, coffee brewing stuff, baking stuff, work from home stuff, shoes.”

He said, “I bought this pizza pan after I tried baking pizza dough—once.” He’s also been trading music gear with other people.

The shopping doesn’t make him feel guilty, Gaerlan said. “I am at peace with myself. I have this motto: Add to cart, give it a day, see if you still like it, check out.”

“I’m sure a lot of people say it’s because we want to fill the void and it’s a form of self-love,” Vilchez said. “I agree on both. Although, I feel like with this pandemic, we can’t be as spontaneous or adventurous as we were before. All of a sudden, an impulse purchase gives me a sense of thrill and receiving a package becomes the highlight of my day after being stuck in my studio apartment.”

But when does a coping mechanism enter dangerous territory?

“We consider coping mechanisms ‘unhealthy’ if they take on a compulsive nature, with impaired control, or recklessness, if they are rather inflexible, neglecting alternative pleasures, or are pursued despite risks or negative consequences, such as social, academic, occupational impairment,” said Cuadro.

But, she said, “The added trick—or quirk—of human life is that unfortunately or fortunately, these are not black-and-white situations. Even in what would still be considered the healthy ups and downs of life, we do experience moments of recklessness, excessive indulgences, giving in to cravings and levels of dysfunction. While those can, at times, bring in guilt, disappointment or a confusing kind of pleasure, those wouldn’t automatically make us disordered.”

Addiction

There’s also a difference between shopping a lot and having a shopping addiction.

According to Cuadro, “Although shopping addiction or compulsive buying is not yet considered a disease category all its own, the features are worth noting. These clinical features are generally shared by all addiction or substance use disorders.

“Addiction refers to repeated, increasing use of a substance, or excessive behavioral patterns, marked by strong desire, cravings, taking on a compulsive nature, impaired control, persistent behavior despite negative consequences, and withdrawal symptoms or distressing experience following deprivation. Behavioral addictions activate the brain’s reward systems in the same ways illicit substances can.”

Recio explained why people sometimes feel guilty after shopping. “We feel guilty after our purchases kasi nag-wear off na yung effect nung gratification natin. Kumbaga, natatauhan tayo na ’di ko pala kailangan yung toaster na ’yun . . . It’s normal and it’s expected.”

What you should do then is talk to yourself. Recio says that “surprisingly, only a few people do this.”

“Separate your wants and needs. Magugulat ka at marami kang matitipid,” he said. “We have to learn to have foresight sa purchases. Will you really use it or is it just a whim? Pwede ka naman magluto ng steak sa frying pan, tamad ka magbaga ng uling. So bakit bibili ka ng buong apparatus na pang-ihaw? Ako ito.”

Denise J. Mallabo, freelance writer, entrepreneur and managing partner for Happy Consultants Manila, who has been cooking and selling adobo flakes during the pandemic, has been buying a lot of containers for her business. But that’s not all.

“I sometimes buy face products. I bought a V8 sound card set, the one with a condenser mic and free cables. I also got a Wi-Fi repeater, a face roller and a double rack for my acoustic guitars,” she said.

Mallabo still has her spending under control, though. “I still think about the money that I have and how difficult it is to earn now. So whenever I get the urge to press ‘check out’ on something that’s not that important, I just don’t.”

Self-awareness

According to Cuadro, self-awareness is important in making sure your coping mechanisms remain healthy. “Know thyself—your tendencies, weaknesses, and the unique ways discomfort and soothing are felt. Coping mechanisms vary depending on each person’s personality, cultural and educational backgrounds, past experiences and life context.”

Recio said, “Face your problems. Yes, it feels nice to have a new pair of shoes, pero dalawa lang naman paa mo. Your problems don’t magically go away with one swipe of your credit card. At the end of the day, we need to face our biggest enemy: ourselves, in the battlefield of our minds. It is in our best interest that we examine deeply our motivations, our thoughts, and our beliefs regarding things that irritate us or annoy us.”

Recio added that people need to focus on self-grounding and reorientation. “Kulang ’yan sa tao . . . We forget what we have, our bills and dues. Pinakawala sa Pinoy ay savings. Nauubos sa sale. Always have a ledger or at least be aware enough sa budget. Practice wise financial distribution.”

Some see shopping as a way to help others, as well. “We get to support small businesses and we get to help sustain the jobs of countless people,” Arucan said.

“Sometimes I wonder if all the shopping is making me selfish and apathetic,” Janina said. “But when I am shopping, I always try to support small businesses, and those which give money to charity. You’ll be surprised how many there are.”