The world is run by leaders. We have leaders everywhere. There are formal and informal leaders. Some are leaders because of the positions they hold—parents, teachers, bosses, business owners, politicians. Others are leaders because they inspire people with their opinions, thoughts and visions.

And then there are those who are considered leaders because of who they are, their courage, what they stand for. People look up to the last group as models for their qualities, intellect, passion and service.

It would be an amazing world if these qualities overlap in the same people. Unfortunately, they very rarely do. Often, they do not.

Look at the world around us. Do you like what you see? One look at the news would give you a rough idea of the kind of leaders we have. The problems that we have are mostly symptoms of decisions made by those who are in power. If we look at current events as the effect of the kinds of leadership that currently dominates, one can guess the quality of leaders we have.

Do you like the world we live in? Is this the kind of world you would love to exist in in the decades to come? Would you want your children and future offspring to live in this kind of world we all have cocreated?

Competence

We need better leaders—in families, organizations, governments. What are the qualities that would make good leaders?

1. Clean minds and hearts. We need leaders who have worked on themselves. We need those who have worked on their cognitive distortions, emotional management, defensiveness, the need to be right, the excessive need for external validation. These are the things that would get in the way of the objective thinking, seeing and hearing needed to appreciate reality as it is. Without seeing reality as it is, it is hard to make good decisions.

2. A strong vision for a better world. A leader is someone who directs people and rallies them to a bigger and greater vision for a better life. Having the courage and power to imagine a world that’s different from the status quo is an important start.

3. Self-authoring. All of us have a past that we are not delighted with. Bad memories can range from a classmate who once bullied us to a parent who made us feel unloved. Most of these negative experiences create narratives in our minds that limit us. The more aware we are of these narratives, the more choice we have in changing them.

Being self-authoring is creating an interpretation that aligns with our values and drives us toward a better version of ourselves. Leaders who author their own stories are not limited by their past; they expand the future with their ability to create new narratives.

4. Competent and self-aware of their weaknesses. A leader should be competent in many skills including decision-making, facilitating important discussions, handling conflicts, leading a team. They don’t need to be experts in everything. They must have awareness and acceptance of where they’re good at, and what they lack. This awareness is a prerequisite for them to work on becoming better and for them to know who they need on the bus with them.

Humility

5. Know when and where to ask for help. People who claim they know everything and are the best at everything will not ask for help. But big visions need more than one person. One of the best qualities of leaders is the humility to know when to step back and let other people run the show.

6. Inspire hearts and minds. We know from history that no matter how grave the punishment, human beings are bound to think for themselves after some time. Dictating people to think a certain way doesn’t work. Just being with a toddler will make you realize this, so how much more for adults who have better developed brains? Inspiring people with a vision will make them self-initiating and creative in achieving the vision.

7. Higher-level consciousness. Kegan’s theory of development puts self-transforming at the top of the stages and where leaders ought to be. Here, they are “able to perceive beyond self to understand the interconnections between systems and people.” We need more people to go beyond just thinking of themselves and being admired by their peers.

While we look to leaders to make changes in our societies, each of us is a leader in our own lives. The more we can lead ourselves, the more effective leaders we can be in the different groups we belong to.

When we can think critically for ourselves, we are able to shape the narrative that goes around that ultimately affects the collective whole. —CONTRIBUTED

The author is an executive coach and an organizational development consultant. Email [email protected].