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Emily’s Post

The mistress is now the wife


Dear Emily,

I lived the life of a mistress for over 15 years until my lover married me after his wife died two years ago. I was his secretary then, and continued to work for him for another two years until I got pregnant.

I retired, and he gave me a house of my own. He gave me everything I wanted—travel, jewelry, credit cards—because he was crazy about me. He is 20 years my senior, but he looks very virile and young. I thought I had won the lottery when I finally affixed his name to mine.

Now that we are entering our third year of marriage, I find out he is again having an affair and behaving like a teenager in heat! I am so depressed and I don’t know what to do.

Former Mistress

Not to rub salt on your wound, but this turn of events only shows that what goes round, comes round. What’s more, you unwittingly created a vacancy for his next mistress when you married him!

He clearly is a serial lover, and can’t bear not to have anyone on the side.  What made you think he wouldn’t do it to you, when he obviously was unfaithful to his wife for 15 years?

You know why he was crazy about you then?  Because he knew that at the end of the day, he could go back to wifey at home.  He saw you only under the best and most relaxed circumstances—the exciting momentariness of it was so seductively appealing to him!  A wife meant drudgery and everything unexciting connected with marriage.  You were a forbidden fruit, and the hide-and-seek scenario pumped up his adrenaline.

What’s more, he probably saw his old self in the image of his wife, and couldn’t accept aging and what went with it. Some men really shouldn’t be married at all!

And guess where you are now? On the other side of the fence, and miserable! It probably wasn’t such a big deal winning your “lotto” after all.  Money and prestige don’t mean a thing now, considering the pain you’re feeling.

Since it’s too late to change the present set-up, what do you plan to do?

Get out of this rut because you’re digging a hole to nowhere. If your lothario of a husband keeps on with his abhorrent ways and keeps whoever becomes his wife unhappy, that’s his problem.  Instead, have a parallel life and do yourself a favor.

Do something fulfilling to veer your attention away from him and his dirty tricks.  Go back to school, study a craft. Become that productive person you can be proud of.  You might even attract him again by improving yourself without his knowledge.

Like it or not, fate truly lashes out valuable lessons in life in exactly the same proportion—nothing less, nothing more. Amen.

E-mail emarcelo@inquirer. com.ph or emarcelo629 @gmail.com, subject: Lifestyle.

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Tags: Marriage , Mistress , serial lover , wife

  • Anonymous

    People with low morals are punished later in their life. There should be a law to penalized the mistress who oftentimes cause problems in the family.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bertusmagnus Gilbert Reyes

    Hahahaha! LOL! Stupidity in love!!

    Sorry for being crass. People believe from being number two, things would be different when they become number one – duhhh, they vacated a position, there is no assurance that it would be left vacant! I should know, it happened to me! But it was just a relationship, my course of action is to let of go of the legal status and as I expected, someone took over as the legal one and I chose to assume the number two position again! Why? I would rather be an accomplice to cheating than to be the one being cheated and yes I was stupidly in love with the person. It lasted until I woke up.

    Live with it! Be happy that at least, you are already the legal wife – should anything happen to the husband, its not only your child that gets to inherit, you are also now entitled to his estate. And just a thought, you can “slowly poison him” anyway – you know, feed him all the cholesterol, unhealthy, oily food that would not be good for his health.

  • Anonymous

    The problem with most mistresses who eventually marry their lovers is that they never learn. As the uber-rich Lothario Sir James Goldsmith said – when you marry the mistress, you automatically create a vacancy. So there, what goes around, comes around. Moral of the story: Stick to the golden rule.

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