DEAR EMILY,

I’m 27 years old, single and still a student. I stopped working recently to continue my studies despite my age. I fell in love with a classmate six years my junior. Our so-called relationship lasted only for a month. He broke up with me because he said he couldn’t “handle” anymore pressures from me and his school demands. That was two years ago.

I am still very emotionally attached to him until now and have not stopped texting him though I know he won’t bother to reply. On one occasion, he even suggested that I should move on. I should have been turned off by him because he only wanted my virginity and sex in the first place. However, this reason seemed not enough for me to forget him.

I know that our one month was not really a “relationship.” I thought I will be okay as time passed, but I’m still constantly preoccupied with him. I want him back as my friend, but he has moved on with his life. I have a lot of other friends and tons of obligations in school, but these have not helped in diverting my attention from him. Meeting other guys is not an option for me right now, since I’m still scared that they might have the same intention as my “ex.”

STUCK

Has he become such an unhealthy obsession that the road ahead for you is now paved with uncertainty? Was he your first love? Your first sexual encounter? If so, are you just going to wallow in this bad experience and forget that there’s life after him? Are you going to turn this double whammy as the be-all and end-all of your life?

Seems like you don’t have much pride in yourself, not much respect, not much love. The fact that you know he only wanted your virginity and continued sex are reasons enough to dump him. Don’t you see more to living than holding on to a jerk who clearly has a one-track mind and no scruples, particularly about your emotions?

A writer once said, “Keep people in your life who truly love you, motivate you, encourage you, inspire you, enhance you, and make you happy. If you have people who do none of the above, let them go.” It’s also been proven that the body is constantly eavesdropping on your thoughts. If you tell your mind you’re stuck to him, soon, your body will be as sick as your mind.

You’re already 27 and merit some maturity. You’re not a teenager anymore. You’re preoccupied with him because he is wall-to-wall in your head. Stop it already! Stop reliving your moments with him! Stop texting a blank wall, which is all there is to him!

You want to get sick with this obsession? Go ahead. It’s your life. Your friends can only help as much as you’d allow them. Nobody else can help you get over him. Only you.

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